December 28, 2012
New Year's Resolutions / More Ideas For Leaving My Indomitable Mark On The NFL
New Year's Resolutions / More Ideas For Leaving My Indomitable Mark On The NFL
1. Compulsory oven mitts for linemen
2. If 18-game schedule proves difficult, extend quarters by 10 minutes
3a. If 25-minute quarters are voted down, push for play during half-time
3b. In lieu of any extended play, add Wednesday Night Football to schedule
4. Remove kick-offs and replace with "pick a hand" or three-card monte
2. If 18-game schedule proves difficult, extend quarters by 10 minutes
3a. If 25-minute quarters are voted down, push for play during half-time
3b. In lieu of any extended play, add Wednesday Night Football to schedule
4. Remove kick-offs and replace with "pick a hand" or three-card monte
5. Provide all quarterbacks with a medieval shield
6. Eliminate tackling
6. Eliminate tackling
7. Change Wilson ball to Nerf
8. Introduce Commissioner's power to overrule referees
9. Think of new ways to scapegoat New Orleans Saints players (or at least Jonathan Vilma)
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