Cowboys quarterback contracts are made for internet disruption

Caps. 

Guarantees. 

Tags. 

It all hurts my head after a while, how about you? 

The money side of pro football tends to get the nerds bunched up in the shorts, which is why I suppose news of this kind is created in the first place. 

It used to be the sort of stuff left to an addendum, or slotted neatly below a free bobblehead giveaway. 

Now the bookkeepers are revered like Captain America.

Well, at least one thing remains the same: nobody generates news like the Dallas Cowboys, which is perhaps why when there’s literally nothing going on in the NFL off-season, a Cowboys story breaks the internet.

And when you can lead a story with simply, 'Dak's done', as SI.com recently did, you know 'dem Cowboys continue to be a winning news ticket.

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones surely knows this, which is why he waited for some quiet on Coming To America 2 chatter and a lull in Jenner-centric social posts to hit us in the eyes with a spicy Texan rub. 

Yes, Dak Prescott’s new $164 million deal (or whatever it is when you divide by several boring figures and carry the one) did us like Debbie this week, certainly because it’s the Cowboys, but mostly because the 24-hour news cycle is craving QB news like selfies. 

See, the supposed QB “carousel” we keep hearing about is spinning lamely like an Emmitt Smith GIF right now. It never stops, but rather just flashes and turns across our screens with no view of the goal line. 

Unlike the real thing it simply teases us. 

As fans, the rumor mills and ESPN-led scenario suggestions are fun for about a week, but have now become about as interesting as a top 20 list on the fastest urinal flushes inside NFL stadiums.

Ahhh internet information about nothing ... thanks goodness for Jerry Jones, eh?