The Titans emerge - incredibly - as a threat

Titans quarterback Marcus Mariota is either the luckiest football player in the world or a super genius. No wait - he's something else. Maybe he's a Jedi. Anyone who wears a visor like that might just have Vader-like qualities.

Let's recap Tennessee's last duel:

With the Titans third and goal against the Chiefs last week, Mariota spied a gap and threw the ball toward the endzone, in what should have resulted in a dead play. But no, some manner of hocus pocus intervened. The misfired pass was batted back toward Mariota by a Chiefs defender and, as ones does, he caught his own deflection before diving toward the corner for a touchdown.

What manner of gadgetry is this? Stuff like this only ever happens on the Nintendo field and even then it's usually via a slip of a Dorito-greased thumb.

Mariota said after the game that it was just the 'right place, right time,' but I think we know better. All year long this guy's has been borderline mediocre, fooling fans and gamblers alike with his size and athleticism. One minute he's on, the next it's moon pies back in the cupboard kids. There's just no trusting this squad.

Well, the knives - or swords - are out folks. The Titans are scary. As their sinking ship was set to turn over on its side, Mariota rallied them back and then, finally, somehow, willed a 22-yard strike to Eric Decker with six minutes left to seal victory.

It was so improbable that one can only conclude Mariota has indeed been playing possum, simply biding his time to learn the ways of his footballing force. The guy might be the next coming of Steve Young for all we know.

He'll have to be - the odds makers have his team at 40-1 to win it all.

Peyton will stand tall in Super Bowl 50

Just @5280Miles at the @fullerhouse house. #NBD from @Broncos

Despite some in the media doubting that Peyton Manning, 39, has much left in the tank for the upcoming Super Bowl, he still has his wonderful height and continues to boast a neat haircut. Should he walk away from the fiftieth iteration of this grand football occasion with only a stiff-brimmed runners-up hat, rest assured he'll wear it proudly - and highly.

Slow and steady

Let's not count the Sheriff out altogether, okay. He may look more like Doc Holliday than Wyatt Earp at this stage of his career, but there's one last stand in him. I know it. Manning completed 17 of his 32 passes for 176 yards in the AFC Championship Game, in a steady if not impressive performance, and that's all Broncos fans need. Certainly the ball didn't always spin along a tight line, but it reached its intended target when most needed, right? That's really all that counts in games of such magnitude. While, some commentators are hellbent on telling us that wounded duck throws are catastrophic, we now know this isn't always true. We also know that some commentators are hellbent on hyperbole.

Steadiness is all the Broncos require on the offensive side. And Manning can be an oak for just one more game. Let Cam Newton chase the wind. That's his game. In truth, he'll need multiple plays to square the Broncos defence away.

One good throw

One play. Two plays. OMAHA! OMAHA! The talking heads also like to say that a game can be decided by one play, and if this is indeed the case, then Manning is also still capable of making that single pass - maybe even twice. Two good passes are not out of the realm of possibility here, especially when you're lifting less than the guy at the snack bar all afternoon.

2 QBs.
2 very different styles.

1 Super Sunday: https://t.co/cUqX9OILG7 (via @judybattista) #SB50 pic.twitter.com/4NkdElIiZp

— NFL (@NFL) February 3, 2016

Starring role

In the very first Super Bowl, played in California as well, Green Bay Packers quarterback Bart Starr tossed 16 of 23 passes for 250 yards, and two touchdowns. He had one interception but the Packers thumped the Chiefs 35-10. Of course, it was a different era, and the Carolina Panthers might be slightly more menacing on defence than the 1967 Chiefs. But I can see Peyton posting similar numbers, and out-thinking the Panthers the way Starr did Kansas City.

Yes, his preference for shorter passes will likely mean fewer yards, first downs, and ultimately a lower scoring output for Denver. However, those numbers might also be just enough to win him the game's MVP prize, and ensure that he leaves just enough in the arm to lift the Lombardi Trophy.

Regardless of the outcome, Peyton Manning is the off-field MVP of #SB50 https://t.co/063PNHMQZF pic.twitter.com/cuwheET2f1

— Forbes (@Forbes) February 3, 2016

10 New Audibles For Peyton Manning On Super Bowl Sunday

The big wigs over at Broncos HQ are said to have concerns ahead of the Super Bowl because Peyton Manning's "Omaha! Omaha!" signal call has become too obvious.

In light of this, they've come up with 10 new audibles for Manning to use at the line against the Seattle Seahawks.

“Hey Irsay! Irrr-saaaayyy.....!”
“Brady’s hair....Brady.....Hair....Hut!”
“Oma-wooohhh, what's that smell?"
"New York, New York!"
"Actually it's Jersey. We're in Jersey!"
“Colts! Broncos! Same difference!"
“O brother, where art thou?”
“Wounded duck! Wounded duck!”
"Sherman! Sherman! Sherman!"
"Handsarefrozen! Frozenyahearme! Frooooo-zen!

NFL Cool Rankings: The Quest For The Holy Grail

With only four teams left to pursue the Super Bowl’s Holy Grail, it remains to be seen who escapes the series of traps left within the playoff temple. The path to the Vince Lombardi Trophy can be a treacherous one to be sure, especially with that old knight Walt Coleman patrolling the sidelines.

“Only the penitent man shall pass!” he cries.

But are there such men in this year’s crop of quarterback heroes?

First, there's Brady, who is unforgiving. Then Manning, who seems more like an everyman. How about the two young guns, Kaepernick and Wilson, who both strut the park with more bravado than prized poodles at Westminster?

Indeed, there’s no room for internalizing in the modern game. Strut! Stride! Charge! Or be charged. Run, or be roughhoused. Or rocked. That's why the older guys get rid it of it so quickly, you see.

Truth is, time is also running out. For Brady and Manning, this may be the last hurrah. For Wilson and Kaepernick it might be just the start of many blue ribbons. They're the future, or so everybody is telling us. 

Whether you side with these players, and their teams, may ultimately be framed by their cultural impact (hashtag - leaping onto a cool bandwagon).

So for the indecisive and uninitiated, here’s a quick guide to the coolness levels of the four remaining contenders.

1. Seattle Seahawks

The Hawks are the hottest team in cool colors since the Blue Man Group. They’re still hot, right? 

Anyway, you can’t help but like Wilson. He’s so slick. So fast. So cool. And can throw. Plus, his post-game comments are the stuff of, I don't know, a senator. A good senator, one without a lascivious past. He makes you believe. 

Then there’s that animal Beast Mode – a.k.a. Marshawn Lynch. Man he’s scary. He looks like the Predator, for crying out loud. 

So, if don’t have a horse in this race and need one, it’s hard to look past the suddenly favorited ringless underdog.

2. Denver Broncos

The Broncos defense is menacing. That’s what football fans say. The uniform is rich. That’s what fashionistas say. The air is rarified. That's what the media says. The old 'D' logo was once impenetrable and therefore legendary. That’s what I say.

Speaking of legends, how about Peyton Manning? They don’t come much bigger. Or better. Or humbler. He seems like a great guy. A man who studies the game more earnestly than that nerdy dude in your fantasy league who's so very pedantic on trades. What gives with that? I just need another receiver, guy. Pull the trigger. 

Anyway, if you believe in miracles - and Peyton winning at age 37 post serious injury is one - Denver should be your team. 

"Omaha! Omaha!" 

3. New England Patriots

Look, even as a neutral observer I’m finding it tough to recommend the Pats. They’re just too dynastic. Too conniving. I mean Belichick and Brady are the Gargamel and Azrael of the NFL, aren't they? Everyone else are Smurfs, scurrying for survival. And you know who Vanity is right….?

4. San Francisco 49ers

Yes, Colin Kaepernick loves to kiss his arms. Give the man a mirror and put a flower in his hat! I’m sorry but....yes he can run. Great. He sometimes even throws it well. Other times, when he's not congratulating himself, he does the two simultaneously, like a tattooed cyborg that’s short-circuiting. In fact, I’m convinced Jim Harbaugh built Kaepernick in his basement as part of an elaborate plan to unseat Alex Smith, win a Super Bowl, and more importantly, the hearts and minds of every Gen Y fan out there.

Kaepernick vs. Flacco: The QB Showdown

There are so many important match-ups in any given Super Bowl, but perhaps none more talked about than 'who has the better quarterback?'

So here it is---Kap versus Flack!

Colin Kaepernick (in a crowd sounds like: "Hold the pumpernickle"), San Francisco 49ers

Age: 25
Height: 6'4
Weight: 230 lbs (65 of which is ink)
Experience: Just eight meaningful games
Arm strength: Dolph Lundgren in Masters of the Universe
Total yards passing: 1,849
Total yards rushing: 413
Best tattoo: Entire 49ers playbook
Facial hair style: Shaggy from Scooby Doo
Signature move: Flexing bicep
Jersey number: #7 (more Vick than Elway)

Joe Flacco (in a crowd sounds like: "No fly zone"), Baltimore Ravens

Age: 26
Height: 6'6
Weight: 245 lbs (5 oz of which are gummy bears in his back pocket)
Experience: 5 years
Arm strength: Sylvester Stallone in Rambo - First Blood Part II
Total yards passing: 17,633
Total yards rushing: 430
Best tattoo: 'I love calzone' in a heart shape
Facial hair style: Sometimes Beckham, other times Yosemite Sam
Signature move: Deer in the headlights look
Jersey number: #5 (should wear No.3 instead, like Lamonica)


Edge: Flacco (Stallone took down Lundgren in Rocky IV after all)

Ravens beguiling as Super Bowl outsiders

Every team playing the San Francisco 49ers is warned about their defense. The potency of a single entity hasn’t received this much hype since Ryan Gosling came onto the scene.

So let’s firstly tip our hat to the likes of defensive end Justin Smith, who with torn triceps is still the glue of a stout Niners line. The front seven will certainly penetrate the Baltimore Ravens’ wall on Super Bowl Sunday. They will race toward the unhurried Baltimore quarterback, Joe Flacco, and try to absorb the human cannonball, Ray Rice. And, if that strategy falls short, then the 49ers linebacker await, like lasers protecting a vault. Nobody but Catherine Zeta-Jones in those black tights could break through. That’s what I hear, anyway.

Contrary to popular belief and reams of stats, both of which tell us the 49ers’ defense ranks among the league’s strongest, San Francisco has its flaws. While its front is bulky and relentless, and its linebackers scarier than NFL veterans squeezed behind pre-game desks, the secondary is vulnerable. Try plough the ball up the middle, as the Atlanta Falcons did during the NFC championship game, and the San Francisco line will arrive faster than the gold diggers of 1849 to California. 

But on the post route---straight upfield and then inside---or on any variation of a deep ball, the team’s secondary can be caught napping. Sure, Dashon Goldson and Terrell Brown make tackles, but the ball moves faster than the player, and few move it beyond defensive backs like Flacco.

The trouble is the Niners corners aren’t brawny, so larger receivers can outmuscle them, even if they correctly read a throw. This means if Flacco can lead his wideouts---especially the speedy Torrey Smith and the soft-handed Anquan Boldin---deep and away from the safeties, I fully expect the Ravens to tear up the Niners back end.

Ultimately, once the smoke clears from the fireworks and Ray Lewis has finished his Fred Astaire impression, I think Baltimore’s defense takes centre stage. Their key men are slower, yes, and greyer, sure, but this is just one game folks. And when you’re playing for your legacy, as Lewis is, not even Jim Harbaugh’s bravado is going to save you.

I know what you’re thinking, especially if you are one of those people who has fallen for Niners quarterback, Colin Kaepernick. He’s tall, lean and illusive, fleet-footed and hard to contain once he swings around the edge. That’s apparently his thing---circumnavigation. But from the pocket, the young quarterback has the same options as every other: a hand-off, a mimicked hand-off and a throw. It’s baffling that most defenses can’t work this out, isn’t it?

Well, most defenses, like that of the Green Bay Packers, or the New Orleans Saints, are average at best. They are not the black and blue Ravens. Everything changes in The Big One, we must remind ourselves. Ray Lewis, in his last hurrah, will hold in the hole (mostly because he’ll be gassed before the first whistle even blows!). Still, in this instance, while creakier and probably crabbier on a Sunday morning than most players, the Ravens will use all that’s left in the tank to snuff out Kaepernick and his high-stepping hoopla. 

Lewis, Terrell Suggs and company will be braced, both where they ache and for all oncoming runners, too. They may forgo some yards to Frank Gore, who is a bulldozer, but as long as the six-pointers are limited it won’t matter. 

Does anyone really have faith in David Akers at this stage anyway? 

Corey Graham and Cary Williams have been the playoffs’ best corners with 50 tackles and assists between them. They’ll make life hard for the Niners receivers. And for all the talk about Patrick Willis, a ferocious defender and intimidating presence, the Ravens linebackers are still the best in the business, almost purely because their reputation precedes them. It’s akin to Sir Anthony Hopkins now in the twilight of his career: at this point he could star in a Hot Tub Time Machine sequel and win an Oscar.

Listen, like you, I caught just a snippet of Lewis’ rantings after the championship game, but wasn’t it enough? 

The Ravens are on a mission to lose nevermore.