New Year's Resolutions From Around The NFL

So here we are in 2022, a chance to reflect, revise and maybe even re-set. In football circles there's a need to revisit a few loose plays of the past year. 

It's time for a few new year's resolutions ...

The Seattle Seahawks, once proud inhabitants of the Kingdome, promise to stop giving their stadium weird names. Qwest and now Lumen aren't exactly catchy or inspiring titles for the 12th Man. Can we just go back to cool arena nicknames please?

Kyler Murray is hoping to familiarize himself with the shape of the ol' Duke a little more, so you know, he stops it slipping from his hands like butter in the Phoenix sun. 

The NFL assures fans that teams like this season's middling Eagles won't make the playoffs in the future, especially not with a record that would have had them in last once upon a time.

The Jags are suggesting they might actually learn football in 2022. Oh, and hire a coach that can help them to do so.

Coach Belichick is considering some stand-in resolutions to feed the media the next time he's asked, instead of acting like the question is a horrendous invasion of privacy.

Jimmy Garoppolo will try and get his QBR as high as his GQ rating in the year ahead. 

The Minnesota Vikings claim that in 2022 they will either shoot for the championship or fall to the cellar, finally doing away with their happy place of mediocrity. 

Commissioner Roger Goodell is proposing that parity is not so much a resolution but a right of passage for all fans. (Most fanbases are demanding a refund over this second-rate approach however).

The Chicago Bears are agreeing to play without a quarterback next season because by George they surely don't know how to play with one.

John Elway will slip the No.7 back on in Denver because after years of watching shocking QB play he figures he couldn't do it any worse at 61.  

Washington's head brass will stop causing everyone to cry WTF! and give the WFT a new moniker. Red Hawks, Red Hogs, Red Roses or the Red Auerbachs ... whatever ... just something. Anything.

The Jets marketing people agree to stop dressing the team in Green Lantern costumes. 

The League will stop playing a distinctly American game in London, where perhaps they'll be stunned to hear that most sports fans won't be emailing Dean Blandino for a review of the decision.