Starting QB Needed In New York: Apply Now!

Nov 1 Quarterback Needed ASAP - Pro Football - Great Pay/Union Benefits! (New York, NY / Jersey) img [x]

Popular New York football team based in Jersey seeks urgent services of a professional quarterback - at least in name. Fill in for injured starter; win instant notoriety. Must have an eye for detail, be a team player, and get the best out of others under duress. Absolutely any clock management skills would be looked upon favorably. 

Good throwing mechanics are not essential, as long as candidate can move ball from A to B. Heck, we invite anyone able to toss a Nerf ball into a bucket to apply. 

Communication skills are a must. However, we don’t expect the successful candidate to be a Harvard Graduate. Having said that, we'll certainly consider those with an Ivy League education; but only if your thumb ligaments are in tact. 

Please send resume with video samples of your most recent work. Talking head show-reels from ESPN won’t be considered. 

Accepting applications from just about anyone, really. Although if your name happens to be Sanchez, we’ll require photo identification. 

Work with a great team that knows when to roll with the punches, and pull its thumb out.

Email: Mike_Maccagnan99@hotmail.com

post id: 000007L

 

posted: 1 day ago

 

updated: 1 day ago

 

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If pro QBs moonlighted at your local deli

A photo taken at a Houston-based restaurant rounded the web recently because of its tongue-in-cheek dig at Texans quarterback, Matt Schaub.

The shop's sandwich board read:

Matt Schaub special - Pick Six - Toppings for you burger.

The clever idea got us thinking, what if pro quarterbacks actually moonlighted at your neighborhood deli?

So without further ado...

If Peyton Manning worked your local deli counter, orders would change last second and hit your hands before you looked up.

If Ben Roethlisberger worked your local deli counter, your pastrami on rye would end up sacked in a steaming heap.

If Geno Smith worked your local deli counter, Rex Ryan would insist a sub be named after him.

If Alex Smith worked your local deli counter, sandwiches would be quick and precise, but mostly under-appreciated.

If Cam Newton worked your local deli counter, the service would dazzle but leave you wanting more.

If Aaron Rodgers worked your local deli counter, it'd be high quality but relentless reviews by sports anchors would leave an unsavory taste.      
 
If Jay Cutler worked your local deli counter, orders would fly out with extra mustard and a sprinkle of disdain.

If Tony Romo worked your local deli counter, all wrong orders would be blamed on him, even on his day off.

If Carson Palmer worked your local deli counter, the turnovers would stand out.