NFL season 2021: Enjoy the best moments from training camp so far

The NFL offseason is full of optimism, action, intrigue and weird combos of active wear and headbands. It's like a glam-metal festival out there. But that's why we love training camp! Let's look in at a few of the best camp moments so far ...

Drew Lock isn't in a laughing mood. But white compression tights and bright orange cleats, come on guy? 

Patrick Mahomes always gets out of a jam ... but here he's too embarrassed to admit his helmet is stuck.

Tom Brady fires a ball at an unsuspecting pizza delivery guy for wrongly bringing him a ham and pineapple. "I said gluten-free tofu vegan jerk-off!"

Smitten by his hair, most pro scouts missed Zach Wilson's Iron Man impression. 

The autumn wind is a ... oh, wait, is that the lunch bell?

Forget the Super Bowl Shuffle - the new Bears perform 'The Sprinkler'.

Chicago Bears use franchise, no frankfurter ... why?

The term 'franchise tag' is thrown around the sports media with impunity, as if we all know what this stuff really means.

Okay sure, maybe if you play NFL video games you know everything there is about managing a virtual football team, or perhaps you're Mike Tannenbaum and pop up on ESPN every 5 minutes for an argument about coffee stains on contracts, then yes, you love this language. 

Great. But for the rest of us schmoes, this sort of front office jargon is about as irritating as an Adam Gase press conference. 

Wake us up when you have some football news, guys.

For anyone still with us here, Chicago Bears wideout Allen Robinson has had the franchise tag placed upon him, as per our pals at the Worldwide Leader. This is breaking news in 2021, in case you're wondering.

But I'm not actually sure if this involves an in-person scenario where someone pins a Walmart-style price tag to the player, or someone rubber stamps his behind, but he's been marked, okay. Just mark my words.

The crux of the matter is a long-term deal wasn't met between the Bears and Robinson, despite the fact he caught 102 passes for 1,250 yards last season.

So, in short, Allen and Bears bosses didn't see eye-to-eye on money, but rather than lose him to free agency, this 'tag' holds him in Chicago for a year. 

I don't love this idea from the player's perspective because it feels like a 'no-vote' of confidence. It's like betting on both red and black. Are you Team Aniston or Team Jolie? Come on now. The guy carried the club's offense, as NFL.com's Kevin Patra has pointed out.

The tag also means the player gets an average payment in that short time, not necessarily what they deserve out in the open market.

At least throw some lifetime deep dish pizza at the guy ... a little Portillos dog ... invite him to a few tailgate grills ... something. 

Where's Coach Ditka when you need him? He'd straighten this out.

The 2020 NFL season is here and look out, everything is different ... or is it?

The NFL is finally here, but a few questions loom ...

- With Mitch Trubisky starting, let's just just conclude that the Bears not only struggle to find QBs, but don't actually enjoy having them. Listen, they love football. They are the epitome of NFL history. And the all-time benchmark for football defense. Bears equals pigskin! But quarterbacking? Meh. 

- Aaron Rodgers was supposedly peeved that the Packers drafted another quarterback, Jordan Love. And yet, Brett Favre being packed and shipped off like aged cheese was okay? Same smell, different vintage.

- Apparently the Dallas Cowboys are again ready to win the Super Bowl ... again. That's what some pundits in ten-gallon hats are saying, just regular straight shooters like you and me. I can't see what's changed, really. They're in a terrible division, sure, but also a loaded conference that now features the Tampa Bay Bradys and a still very scary 49ers crew. 

- Speaking of Brady, is it possible the creamsicle training jersey makes him look more youthful? Damn that guy.

- The Rams new helmet design is questionable. Why change a perfect look? But after three or four Hard Knocks episodes in the Californian sun, I've come around. It's the metallic chrome blue - it saves it. 

- Still in LA, most predictable preseason round-ups are calling out Goff's blandness. Seems harsh - he's paid to wear a cool blue helmet and deliver spirals, not soliloquies. So, you know, get a grip.  

- Does anyone know what the Jags are doing? Are they actually in the league this season? Is White Goodman still the QB? Anyone?

- It's funny how so many people are off the Pats now. Really? I'm as tired of their dominance as the next guy, but betting against Belichick is like cutting the sleeves off a perfectly good hoodie. 

- I personally like the new Washington Football Team motif and logo. But when news sites only go by nicknames and write 'Football Team', they're surely having a dig. I hope the Football Team kicks your team's backside, punk news editors!

- Talking heads keep saying Kansas City will lose its home field advantage this season without fans. But if a club was ever at a disadvantage it's the Dolphins, who will have fans in 2020 ... tanned, perfectly pastel, swimsuited and glamorous, fans.

- Speaking of distractions, will Raider Nationers be okay with the eight-hour drive to Sin City while wearing their Darth Vader and Skeletor masks? Hope so.

- Jadeveon Clowney is a Titan for this season. How do we digest this? Let's give the last word to Coach Mike Vrabel: "Sometimes you end up coaching against those guys and sometimes you end up coaching them after you've been with them, so that would be the case here." Ah, no further questions.

Football's Trendiest Picks For 2014

Just before the NFL season starts, a few people lose their minds. It's as if the pent up energy sends them into a Pacino-like rage and before you know it they're snarling at friends and colleagues about the Chargers chances of going to the Super Bowl, and how YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY KNOW!

Many of these people work in the field of NFL speculation and report this to us online, where they routinely share such fun facts as Alex Smith will never be more than a game manager and that the Jags are on an almighty ascension. Oh, and the 49ers will be lucky to make the playoffs.

Huh? I suppose E should've stopped pursuing Sloan too?

As always there are other tasty morsels being tossed our way as the pro football table is set, and among those are the following:

Keys to Carr

Derek Carr is the starting QB in Oakland and this was the right move for a floundering organisation, we're told. Schaub is done, apparently, his arm now as heavy as the same slab of meat used in his infamous sandwich. We can debate the pros and cons of this decision all night but one thing's clear, and that is the Raiders may have had their eye patches on the wrong side all this time.

Then there's the Giants, who despite winning everything in the preseason will supposedly be abysmal offensively. Eli, it's no surprise, is the Mr Hyde to Peyton's Doctor Jekyll. It'll always be this way because Eli is an easy target—and he plays in a media market which excels at target practice. At least Dunkin' Donuts believes in him.

Monsters and BBQ

How about the Bears? Do enough people have them pencilled in for the Super Bowl yet? Listen, Cutler's arm is its own monster of the Midway, but the defense couldn't rouse a sleep-deprived Godzilla. 

More than a few experts who were bullish on the Bills last season and not so on the Jets, now see New York trending up and Buffalo sinking. What's changed? Well, I guess Smith was slightly better than Manuel last year, and neither of them came close to matching Tannehill in Miami. So logically, most pundits have the Fish finishing behind them both. 

Perhaps the most stunning withdrawal of faith is in Kansas City, a squad that did everything right last season until their points party with the Colts in the playoffs. That gutting loss will apparently be too much for the Chiefs to overcome this year, many say, despite them boasting the league's third best rusher, one of the game's most efficient passers, a potential terrifying pass rush, and the country's top bbq joints. Andy Reid is no slouch either, but maybe his tropical shirts suggest otherwise.

Throw a Dog a Bone

Hey I almost forgot, Philly will get to the big one, we're told. Yes, that's the Nick Foles led Eagles. Well, it's possible, I guess. Everyone thought Ivan Drago was impossible to overcome, didn't they? But why has the mob suddenly soured on RGIII and Washington?One minute you're the poster child for scintillation, the next your knee is less trusted than a slick new candidate on the hill. Where's Jaws when you need him?

Lastly, no hype reel would be complete without the Cleveland Manziels. You can understand why fans want Johnny Football on the field because behind the team's athletic o-line, he may just weave some magic not seen since the Kosar era. Then again, he might get crushed under a pile of slobbery dog bones.

Cool Rankings: Football's trending teams

1. Philadelphia Eagles

Many in the media are obsessed with Philly. Whether booed, ballyhooed or berated, the Eagles trend upward because Sal Paolantonio and Co. treat the color of Andy Reid’s underpants as breaking news. (Side note: Reid's y-fronts are a game-time decision).

2. Kansas City Chiefs

The talk is Kansas City are in the driver’s seat for next year’s top draft pick---you'd assume a quarterback. Sure, Cassel has underwhelmed. But isn’t it entirely possible he’s playing with a tainted deck? There’s certainly no ace, a couple of queens, and more than a few jokers. Cassel’s real problem is lucky No.7---it’s too much to live up to when your o-line has nothing up its sleeve.

3. Chicago Bears

A few weeks back, Chicago was touted as a juggernaut by many of the talking heads. Then Cutler was crunched, the defense was buried in burden, and Jason Campbell forgot quarterback is a job that requires you to be conscious. Now the Bears are back, fulfilling their usual hype at the onset of winter.

4. New England Patriots

New England fans keep telling us they worry about their team’s defense. "Oh, thy secondary!" they cry. The running game is lackluster, they claim. Even Brady’s hair has lost some sheen, so say Boston stylists. Meanwhile, the Pats continue the charge. Don’t expect this approach to change until the Giants refund their New Orleans flights.

5. San Francisco 49ers

Kaepernick! The 49ers haven’t had this much press since Singletary dropped his Dockers. Things have come full circle: Coach Jim Harbaugh pulled Alex Smith’s pants down before the smelling salts even kicked in. Rest assured, Smith is still "his guy".

Might the Bears catch us by surprise?

Editor's Note: Following this post, Bears quarterback Jay Cutler yelled at his o-line, pouted on the sideline, and turned in this statline---11 of 27 passes, with four interceptions, for just 126 yards, against the Green Bay Packers. Regardless, we still believe in the potential of the Rah Rah Bears, and any excuse to reference the movie Wild Things. 

___________________

Peyton Manning threw his 400th touchdown pass, Brandon Weeden threw four interceptions, and Tim Tebow completely threw off a touted Bills defense, in what was a strange and wonderful return to Sunday pro football.

But while you're icing down after seeing your Eagles turn turkey against the lowly ranked Brown Dogs, or taking an asprin following your Seahawks distressing loss to the Arizona Kolbs, perhaps divert your thoughts to a club that has been largely unheralded this past off-season---the Chicago Bears.

Jay Cutler's 50-yard torpedo down the middle to rookie Alshon Jeffrey was more beautiful than a Chicago-style at Kim and Carlos's Hot Dog Stand. Say what you want about Cutler's proclivity for wild things and forced errors---his Elway-like launcher could knock a steak from Yogi's grasp at 200 feet. Yes Boo-Boo, the Bears will do a little more than shuffle on through this season as long as Cutler's cutting the mustard.

Cutler was 21 of 35 for 333 yards and threw passes to six different receivers. That group included the most passive-aggressive Bear of all, Matt Forte, who is also unquestionably the most versatile back in the game right now. Forte rushed for 80 yards, but that was just to warm up. He caught three balls for 40 yards as well, in a performance that not only proved his value to Chicago's honchos, we hope, but underscored that this is now a potent and pacey offense.

That Cutler's ol' buddy Brandon Marshall "chipped in" nine receptions for 119 yards and a touchdown, must have had Chicagoans salivating like Al Bundy for a saucy redhead needing new pumps. This was 44 points---albeit against a weak opponent---that wasn't always available in previous seasons. It was an attack buoyed by its potential, and reveling in the bravado of its front man, the moody but brilliant Cutler.

By Sunday night's end they had the league's fifth best land grab with 428 yards of offense, which can only be pleasing to a club that generally hangs its hat on defense.