5 reasons the Browns are better than you think

So the Brownies are fourth in the AFC North, have a 29-year old rookie quarterback, winter is coming, and their helmets are still logo-less. (Nothing against Paul Brown, but it's probably just as well).

But there's something about these guys. Five things, actually.

1) They're plucky. I mean they made Andy Dalton---the NFL's hottest of hot shots a year ago---look as potent as Gus Ferrotte during his all too brief Bengals era. Remember the infamous left-handed delivery against Cleveland in 2002? Oh, Gus.

2) Coming full-circle, Dalton threw equally awful picks of his own against the Browns in Week 6 of this season, and that's because Cleveland's defense was opportunistic, if not always on pace with Cincy's wideouts. They were excitable and it showed. The Dog Pound was pretty chuffed too.

3) The the Browns offensive line protected their ageing signal-caller, too, allowing him enough time to slap in his dentures, and launch a few. Brandon Weeden catapulted some beauties, in fact, especially the 71-yard score to fellow rookie Josh Gordon over the middle, and suddenly the Browns attack looked formidable.

4) In reality, they haven't been bettered by much over this early phase of the season: The Magnificent Eagles escaped with a single point win, and it's not like Buffalo and Cincinnati were resounding in their victories over the Browns. Let's keep things in perspective. The Browns are decent, and therefore beaming like their namesake for a moment.

5) "This was my best victory," Paul Brown told the Associated Press in 1970, after his Bengals defeated the Browns in the season's rematch. For Cleveland, this rematch win may end up being one of their best for 2012, and a genuine confidence booster in a season of incredible parity. 

Might the Bears catch us by surprise?

Editor's Note: Following this post, Bears quarterback Jay Cutler yelled at his o-line, pouted on the sideline, and turned in this statline---11 of 27 passes, with four interceptions, for just 126 yards, against the Green Bay Packers. Regardless, we still believe in the potential of the Rah Rah Bears, and any excuse to reference the movie Wild Things. 

___________________

Peyton Manning threw his 400th touchdown pass, Brandon Weeden threw four interceptions, and Tim Tebow completely threw off a touted Bills defense, in what was a strange and wonderful return to Sunday pro football.

But while you're icing down after seeing your Eagles turn turkey against the lowly ranked Brown Dogs, or taking an asprin following your Seahawks distressing loss to the Arizona Kolbs, perhaps divert your thoughts to a club that has been largely unheralded this past off-season---the Chicago Bears.

Jay Cutler's 50-yard torpedo down the middle to rookie Alshon Jeffrey was more beautiful than a Chicago-style at Kim and Carlos's Hot Dog Stand. Say what you want about Cutler's proclivity for wild things and forced errors---his Elway-like launcher could knock a steak from Yogi's grasp at 200 feet. Yes Boo-Boo, the Bears will do a little more than shuffle on through this season as long as Cutler's cutting the mustard.

Cutler was 21 of 35 for 333 yards and threw passes to six different receivers. That group included the most passive-aggressive Bear of all, Matt Forte, who is also unquestionably the most versatile back in the game right now. Forte rushed for 80 yards, but that was just to warm up. He caught three balls for 40 yards as well, in a performance that not only proved his value to Chicago's honchos, we hope, but underscored that this is now a potent and pacey offense.

That Cutler's ol' buddy Brandon Marshall "chipped in" nine receptions for 119 yards and a touchdown, must have had Chicagoans salivating like Al Bundy for a saucy redhead needing new pumps. This was 44 points---albeit against a weak opponent---that wasn't always available in previous seasons. It was an attack buoyed by its potential, and reveling in the bravado of its front man, the moody but brilliant Cutler.

By Sunday night's end they had the league's fifth best land grab with 428 yards of offense, which can only be pleasing to a club that generally hangs its hat on defense.

NFL training camp's most telling numbers

Infographics are in seemingly more places now than Terrell Owens. But unlike TO, they're not going to unsettle your favourite quarterback, or disrupt the inner workings of your team. They're simply colorful and informative...like John Madden.

So we're pleased to bring you our first ever football infographic, courtesy of our new friends over at The Football Educator. This one is about training camp, and interestingly represents the amount of Gatorade consumed, or at least made available for consumption---twenty-five cases! (Note: we can't confirm how much of the Jets' 25 were solely consumed by Rex Ryan but hope an infographic is in the offing).

Taking the bait in Miami

It's high time somebody called out Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross, firstly, for whatever role he played in the signing of Chad Johnson, but mostly for turning the Fins into his own personal PR project.

Miami, one of the NFL's great clubs by any measure - wins, memorable games, legendary players, iconic branding - entered the league just when things really started sizzling. It was 1966, and the NFL and AFL rivalry was so hot, a merger of frank and mustard proportions was inevitable. The likes of the Oakland Raiders, Buffalo Bills and San Diego Chargers were burning up gridirons in the new league, and the only thing left to do was expand. Where? Why south! South Beach to be exact, where talents have been taken and defining the landscape since Sinatra and the boys threw back Jacks at the Fountainbleau.

And yet, after all the history, the martinis, the thrills and throws, showman and showoffs, from Dino to Marino, we have a tax accountant cum millionaire real estate man calling the shots in Miami. How does this happen, you ask? Commerce friends. It's a powerful thing and it often knows very little about the hook and ladder.

But perhaps the last straw, the whittled and worn thread remaining after the penultimate twig, is that now there are rumors that Ross wants to change the Dolphins logo. First LeBron James betrayed Cleveland for the palm-lined paradise, now this. What's next, Fergie at quarterback?

It's truly hard to like the Dolphins during this bizarro phase. They're not Kramer - they're Feldman. They're not Buzz Lightyear - they're a mindless preprogrammed clone hellbent on more than infinity. And with a new logo, purportedly something you'd see imprinted on the glass doors of a pastel shaded Fort Lauderdale resort, they further run the risk of alienating fans. That is unless they're keen on filling seats with Mr. Ross' vacationing buddies.

I can't really see them dancing to Enrique Iglesias pre-game, can you?

Seahawks quarterbacks on the hook

If you’ve ever traveled to the Pacific Northwest, you will have noticed their proclivity for doing things well. This is certainly the case in Seattle, where their airplanes, computers, rock n’ roll, coffee, and women’s basketball are all remarkably good. So it’s rather confounding that their pro football suffers from fifty shades of grey, and nothing more distinct.

Many would argue that the Seahawks defensive game has been the foundation of the club in recent years, keeping the team bouyant. For example, the 2011 Seahawks defense allowed just 19 points per game on average, which is better than at least 20 other teams in the league, including your Super Bowl champion New York Giants. They’re speedy, tenacious, and make interceptions (fourth in the NFL last year).

But the discrepancy here is that the Giants pound opponents black and blue when they most need to - they get after the quarterback! They might spot 25 points, but then in the crunch, there’s no sign of complacency or mediocrity. There's just a mammoth squeeze. In this regard, the Seahawks are more, well, flighty. And yet because the NFC West is more routine than your morning Starbucks order, the middling Blue and Green not only seem efficient at times, but inexplicably potent. That’s not difficult against the likes of Kevin Kolb and Alex Smith, of course. 

In turn, Tavaris Jackson looks adequate. He’s powerful, and power goes a long way if you can land the ball within the outer circle of your target at least. Tavaris does this. He also scrambles like Tebow, but with less fanfare, so when he arrives at the first down marker you’re more likely to be pleasantly surprised. Again, if the expectation is minimal, then fair results can always be positioned as “above average”. This is what's formally referred to as the T-Jack Jive.

And so, under Pete Carroll, the Seahawks appear trapped in an obscure offensive phase - averaging just 304 yards per game last season - which doesn’t bode well for the next campaign. Most recently, and startling, the club named Jackson as the training camp starter at quarterback, instead of young gun Matt Flynn - the man they pined for this offseason like Frasier after sassy blondes. That doesn’t sit well with many in the fanbase, nor should it. Even the Crane boys would suggest the strange reverse psychology at play here is bound to adversely affect Seattle’s signal-calling situation.

On the one hand, Flynn needs reps and a vote of confidence. On the other, we already know what Jackson can do, and most certainly what he can’t (his limited ability in reading defenses and locating second and third receiving options is imposing on my mind). So sitting Flynn looks geared toward reducing any immediate expectation of him. This could be futile in the end because unless Dave Kreig is getting off the couch any time soon, Flynn will likely be the most discussed offseason acquisition at the position this summer.

Yes folks, nothing's as it seems in Seattle, as Pearl Jam once cried.  

It's a different NFL era, does it have to be?

Football may have reached a cultural crossroads considering its hyper popularity conflicting with its hyper violence. But is it just the victim of a hyper perfect society?

As Grantland's Chuck Klosterman says in a recent column, it might be a nonexistent intersection, which will never reach a conclusion. But I wonder if we were able to simplify our collective thinking so that it more closely resembled the way we used to be before the Unlimited Information Era, then perhaps we could slow down football, and in turn, dial some of its issues down to a more manageable level.

Now I'm not talking about concussions specifically, because as we know, head injuries have become a rather grim and sad indictment of today's full-contact NFL football. I'm speaking more broadly about the way people function today, and the way many football players function today - with this sort of pseudo-bravado and hunger to be not only the best, but the most visible, the one who hits the hardest, delivers the most damage, or appears on SportsCenter most often. It seems for many NFL players, the literal conquering of the opposition, is more important than making a sound play. Intensity has been replaced by ferocity. Physical dominance has been replaced by brutality. If this is what is important to so many, as the New Orleans bounty case has shown us, then what hope have we of quelling the unnecessary component of football's violence? And when we say unnecessary, we must consider the excess violence that some players partake in. 

The argument we commonly hear is that football is a violent game and that's that. But we might also conclude that football has never been more violent than it is right now, and it's because many of the people playing the game consider themselves an extension of the tackle - they are weapons. These individuals are part of that hyper perfect society - overly engineered, over achieving Terminator types - who show all the concern for their on-field colleagues as a drunk driver. Can't football be played with a degree of responsibility? Well, of course, it can be.

When pro football players wore leather helmets, and labored through slow, muddied and grinding affairs, in which running, not passing, was a special commodity, we imagine there were less brutal injuries. We believe this because at a slower pace, with less equipment, men were less able to intentionally damage others, and as a result, their minds weren't geared towards it. Of course, the game became more dynamic, people grew bigger, moved closer to perfect, and were equally equipped with the latest technology - the hyper society complicated a simple game of yardage. 

But launching at another man with a cannonball atop your shoulders isn't really football, is it? It's an attempt to sideline someone. If that's football, the game of great athletes, clever tactics, and unparalleled story lines then I must have missed something.

There are no easy answers to dealing with violent sports. But other games manage. Rugby is played by more than a hundred nations, for example, and you rarely see the type of horrific collisions in rugby that you see in pro football. And to the naked eye, rugby is a far more bruising affair than the NFL. That's because the game's owners, and supporters, and protagonists, cling to the tradition of the task - not to merely the way the task looks. They're committed to the skill and strategy, to tackling with the right techniques, and less to the spectacle. The NFL is spectacular, and moves pretty fast, and we love it. But some of its people need to stop and take a look around every once in a while, or they could miss it. 

9 ways to be drafted in the NFL's first round

1. Be named for good fortune (Luck), or like a millionaire, Thurston (Griffin III). 
2. Parade your gorgeous wife to upstage any doubts (Ryan Tannehill). 
3. Hug the commish to validate choice to Jets fans (Quinton Coples). 
4. Ride a wave of popularity, or better yet, a Crimson Tide (Richardson, Barron, Kirkpatrick, Hightower). 
5. Be the best back in the draft (Trent Richardson), but not to the greatest of all time, Jim Brown. 
6. Stall buzz (Chandler Jones), but accelerate credibility as a Bill Belichick pick. 
7. Own the draft day cap, even when it doesn't fit (Dre Kirkpatrick). 
8. Offer speed, promise a rush (Bruce Irvin), outrun Seattle's Twelfth Man. 
9. Be a 28-year old quarterback for a team needing the real McCoy. 

NFL schedulers need a flux capacitor

Nobody promotes its product ahead of time like the NFL.

The 2012 regular season NFL schedule was released this week, with the first kick-off featuring the Dallas Cowboys and New York Giants on Thursday, September 5. The last time somebody advertised this far in advance, Hollywood ended up with actors much older than their characters - but because it was a movie about a time travelling DeLorean nobody cared.

It's surely an arduous decision locking in the season's initial game, finding the right balance of nationwide appeal, competitiveness, rivalry, and high-caliber cheerleaders. In the current instance, the Giants are the champs, and presumably the Cowboys are in the, er, best position to topple the champs? Sure, there's a rivalry here but who are we kidding? I'd rather see Calvin take on Hobbs on opening night.

If we run down the first weekend schedule, a couple of other games are decidedly more enticing. For a start, 49ers - Packers, a renewed rivalry with cheese melting potency, will be a cracker, with Aaron Rodgers battling the Niners stout defense, and Alex Smith vying for real credibility following a strong playoffs. Or how about Cam Newton slinging deep balls and wielding spin moves against Josh Freeman and the Bucs? That'll be more compelling than Tony Romo hitting the deck and shoving his shoulder pads back under his jersey every second play.

The Monday nighters feature sexier rivalries than long-legged label touters on the red carpet, despite the fact that both Carson Palmer and Phil Rivers have been about as effective lately as Bobby Valentine in the Red Sox clubhouse. Fried chicken and beer don't look so bad now, right?

Peyton Manning's Broncos play Big Ben's Steelers on the Sunday night, which might even give Megan's party for Don on Mad Men a run for its money, as the best ways to cap off a weekend. Congratulations to the league on that one.


Looking down the list, there are some other regional contests that will appeal to an excitable few, like the Jets and Bills, or the Rams and Detroit - the latter, especially, feels like a matinee must-see. You be the judge.

Sunday, Sept. 9

Colts at Bears, 1 p.m. ET
Jaguars at Vikings, 1 p.m. ET
Bills at Jets, 1 p.m. ET
Dolphins at Texans, 1 p.m. ET
Patriots at Titans, 1 p.m. ET
Rams at Lions, 1 p.m. ET
Redskins at Saints, 1 p.m. ET
Eagles at Browns, 1 p.m. ET
Falcons at Chiefs, 1 p.m. ET
49ers at Packers, 4:15 p.m. ET
Seahawks at Cardinals, 4:15 p.m. ET
Panthers at Buccaneers, 4:15 p.m. ET
Steelers at Broncos, 8:20 p.m. ET

Monday, Sept. 10

Bengals at Ravens, 7 p.m. ET
Chargers at Raiders, 10:15 p.m. ET

How the Jets should use Tebow

Grantland's Chris Brown recently argued that Tim Tebow's success as a Jet will require him to be a passing threat as much as a runner. Brown is adamant that there's minimal opportunity for Tebow as a Wildcat attacker, which at this early stage, seems the likely designation for New York's hottest recruit. He contends that in order for Tebow to find success in situational plays as the back-up quarterback, he needs some throwing options up his sleeve. In other words, he needs to be more than a Wildcat, or perhaps, a wildcard.

These are fair points, but I'm not sure I agree Tebow should be closer to a quarterback than a running back. Isn't it entirely possible that Tebow, a tank of a man at 6-foot-three and 236 pounds (the NFL's scariest runner is Adrian Peterson is 217 pounds), can be an effective football player without a positional label? Yes, last season he lined up as QB, and even threw some decent balls. But most of the time he succeeded as an old time halfback.

Part of the issue is that pro football's most prominent talking heads seem enamoured with the idea that football is overly complex. How often do we hear, after all, about the intricacies of play design, of elaborate assignments, and complexities of playbooks? The sentiment appears to be that if the majority can't comprehend it, then it's bordering on genius. It may well be true that the highest level of football calls for extreme focus, but at the end of the day, how ingenious is the art of deception or surprise on the sporting field? That's what it boils down to, and so to Brown's point, I can appreciate the need for Tebow to show a few things, but do some others. He can't simply run into the line after every snap, not unless he hopes to specialize in fourth and inches. But by the same token, maybe intermittent running plays is all the Jets require from Tebow.

Like the backs of a former era, Tebow is less conceptual in his approach to football: he sees a hole and he darts through it. He watches a defense lean one way, and heads the other. He's also less reliant on schemes and formations than is given credit for. For all the so-called gimmicks and gadgets that teams supposedly should employ for a player like Tebow, its the player himself who most often turns the sequence on its head and makes something happen. That's Tebow's forte - reacting! I'll concede that, sure, running backs or half backs, or "wild" backs need blocking and unbalanced formations, and the potential of several outlets or escape hatches, but they also dictate outcomes using their supreme speed, strength and vision. And in Tebow's case, an unparalleled will to succeed, too.

So, yes, the Jets will need to think through some options. They'll benefit from plays specific to Tebow's arsenal, and to pinpoint instances in which Tebow can bowl through, or around the defense, and possibly release the ball to a teammate, or even tuck it away and barge forward. But it'll be his thunderous running, and elusiveness, that'll make those plays work. And whether the defense suspects it or not, Tebow won't be denied yards. He'll additionally confuse defenses simply by being on the field. Why? Because he's such a rare and confounding specimen - a player who can throw it if forced to, but also change direction like a running back. And not just a run-of-the-mill back NFL defenses are accustomed to preparing for, like those boasting power only, or just quickness, but rather one with an array of skills, the way old-style footballers like Jim Thorpe of the Canton Bulldogs did almost 100 years ago.

No agenda, except crossing that goal line.

Swimsuit models and QB ratings

Each year, the Madden game hits shelves with new tweaks, iterations, ideas, beeps and buzzes, and of course, a cover shot to supplant the last. Is there a cover outside of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue more hotly anticipated?

Once the new product adorns store fronts, congests blog forums and splashes across gaming magazines, we're regaled of graphical tales about EA labs where Madden's mad scientists whiteboarded new angles, conjured impossible moves, and acted out scenarios while hooked up to motion sensor devices. There are made-for-press-release subtleties like the addition of delicate shadows, artificial intelligence to replicate player tendencies, and generally more layers than a Chicago Bears punter in December. In the end, it's all about increasing the complexity and diversity of the experience so that what is essentially the same game, appears slightly different every summer. It's a well considered project, and with the exception of last year's delayed release, superbly executed.

But there is one aspect of the whole Madden saga that seems overlooked, and which I believe in this age of celebrity and news indulgence makes complete sense: the rate at which a player is distracted off-field. In other words, how much energy is he using, shall we say, between the sheets.

Now on the surface this seems a rather superficial concern, and perhaps not entirely appropriate for a video game enjoyed by kids. But this rating could easily be couched as "game day focus" or "mental preparedness" because such elements are very real considerations in any sporting endeavor. After all, pro football offers some stiff competition - pun intended.

So perhaps the fine people at EA could standardize this statistic for us Madden gamers in their next edition. They could call it the WAG (Wives And Girlfriends) Factor, and score the level of influence or distraction caused by partners of prominent players. Quarterbacks, as the highest profile stars, would be the most suitable category to trial this formula. For example, Tom Brady might score 75 points on the WAG Factor (as opposed to his "Awareness" score of 98 in Madden 12), because if popular media teaches us anything, it's that New England's favorite son hasn't performed to his optimum since dating Gisele Bundchen.

Or how about Tony Romo, who now as a married man might score 83, but surely would have been penalized in 2007 for dating pop music bombshell, Jessica Simpson - the ideal distraction. I'd suggest the former Romo - an 88 scorer overall in Madden 12 - might have tallied 54 in the WAG Factor. Then there's Jets signal-caller Mark Sanchez, who has the enviable task of dating swimsuit model, Kate Upton, but the unenviable delegation of explaining every lackluster performance to the New York media.

After The Sanchize's three-interception stunner against Miami last season, we could possibly deduce a significant level of "distraction". Sanchez may not even notch 50% on Madden's WAG Factor: I'd propose 47. And do we dare imagine the focus of an Upton-smitten Sanchez next season? It's challenging enough for those on the sideline to ignore the comeliness of Sports Illustrated's latest cover model, let alone someone commanding a pro football huddle.

The Peyton Problem

Come on now. This is becoming more excruciating than the Favre Fiasco. More intriguing than Maria Menounos' bikini bet. More persistent than the questionable sanity around the Lin phenomenon.

Where on earth is Peyton Manning playing next season?!

We all expect the Colts to sacrifice their franchise quarterback rather than pay him $28 million, which means there hasn't been this much speculation about a worn out 36-year old since Angelina Jolie's rakish appearance on the red carpet last week.

So what next?

Well...

The Stampede Blue blog has an interesting breakdown of Peyton's contract in Indy.

Revenge of the Birds take a look at the top contenders in the Manning sweepstakes, outlining the pros and cons of signing No.18. Interestingly, the reader poll below this post significantly favored the Arizona Cardinals.

The National Football Post's Andrew Brandt blogs for The Huffington Post this week, covering some of the trickier financial angles of the Colts dumping Peyton.

But if you're just over the whole thing and would rather some Manning-infused comedy relief, look no further than  Dave's Art Locker friends. Dave works Peyton's infamous frown into all 32 NFL logos. Nice job Dave.