Buffalo Bills get no love in rankings ... and you know Rex likes it that way

Power rankings are a strange and cruel beast, sort of like Rex Ryan after a Quarter Pounder binge.

Often arbitrarily constructed, they tend to be short on logic and long to digest. Just how official are these things, anyway? About as official as Adam Gase's genius status, we'd say.

So how can we combat them? How can we reorganise what's been so carelessly jumbled? (I feel your pain Matt Warren of Buffalo Rumblings. We're here to help).

Don't poke the Buffalo

Let's just tackle it one team at a time. And what better place to start than Buffalo, where the home town Bills are treated like sons, and yet ranked like SOBs by people with access to the internet.

For example, Bleacher Report has the Bills 22nd on its before week 1 rankings. They also have the Jags 17 and the Raiders at 11. So, you know, why stop there? Why not say the '79 Bucs are among the greatest teams of all time?

SB Nation places the Bills slightly higher at 18, but then say the Jets are just one better.

For a more official ranking you could turn to NFL.com, which has the Bills in 16th, with a nice blurb from Elliot Harrison about making the club great again.

USA Today seems less optimistic about Buffalo, starting with the line, 'Summer was unkind to Rex Ryan ...' Woah. Take it easy, America's paper. We were just joshing. Now you're taking it too far. They have the Bills at 19.

The World Wide Leader is slightly more generous, suggesting an 8-8 season, with a 16 ranking. Still ... does Boomer know about this?

Yahoo targets holes in the defence at season's open, with a harsh 20 ranking.

And don't expect any support from the gang at Fox Sports, who say it's playoffs or bust for Rex and Co. They've dropped them down to 22.

Then there's everybody's favourite online writer, Mike Florio, who has the guts to stash Buffalo at the bottom of the heap at 29. Don't fret Bills Nation, Mike has the Dak Prescott-led Cowboys at 14 and the Sam Bradford charged Vikings at 11. There's no adequate way to interpret this behaviour, though there are like 25 different 'Talk' tabs across that NBC site, so maybe Mike's logging too many hours.

Perhaps we should leave the last word to one of best comments on the PFT page from firecracker87:

1. firecracker87 says:Sep 5, 2016 1:00 PM
   

   The Bills won the off season; why aren’t they at #1?

   45

   12

   
   

Well played sir.

Let's get Monday Night Football back to being iconic

By J.P. Pelosi

*NFL's MNF started tentatively in 1964, untelevised 
*The 'spectacle' as we know it kicked off in the seventies
*First game saw the Browns beat the Jets 31-21, Sep 21, 1970

Football on Monday night seems a grand idea, no matter which way you dial it up.

Unless you're Tony Robbins or Hugh Hefner, most weeks start with a thud, a cold hard realisation that work awaits, the clothes hamper is festering and dinner might well be frozen.

Indeed, many of us need the relief of Monday night sports to ease us into the five day circus. But there's a problem: the ringmaster has found his way into our TVs to mess up Monday football, too.

Take the first two Monday games of the upcoming NFL season: Steelers - Redskins, Niners - Rams. Sure, they're interesting enough teams, and I get it, an east coast match-up complimented by a west coast clash. But this is the once legendary Monday Night Football!

Cossell, Gifford, Michaels, Madden. Marino. Plunkett. Montana. That freaking fantastic theme song... ba ba baaaaam ... babadum...ba ba baaaaa ...

How did it all become so, well, pedestrian?

Surely Giants - Cowboys would see more chips spat across living rooms. Chargers - Chiefs, too, would ignite some action. But there's a weird shift toward airing second rate contests, a trend that's making Monday sports fixtures feel blander than date night with Bill Belichick.

A rugby scrum of content

It's the same issue with football in my backyard, the National Rugby League (NRL). Instead of being a beer cracking, after-work barbecuing extravaganza, Monday NRL games are really an afterthought.

I'm not even sure most fans know it's on, and that's largely to do with it being a cable TV offering only. Perhaps the TV stations are just happy to lock big deals in with sporting codes and the games have become throwaway details. Or maybe with all the content flying around now, programmers simply don't know what constitutes a feature game anymore.

Either way, rugby league won't be played on Mondays anymore and columnists are already rejoicing. Given its soft crowds, Thursday Night Football could well be next.

Strength in numbers

The NFL can get away with a casual strategy because of the size of the US population, and more importantly, the sheer number of cable subscribers. NFL games attract massive crowds, both to the stadium and the box, so there's no real danger of losing fans over, say, a lazy Jags - Bucs game. Oh, they'll be watching, even with three sheets to the wind.

In Australia, however, cable isn't as prevalent. Even if it was, I don't think fans care enough about Monday's night of football because the fixtures are rarely appealing, and consequently, crowds a smaller than at local kids pantomime. It's not a good look.

Top shelf old boy!

One sporting competition that seems to have the gist of things is the English Premier League, which sometimes will serve up a Monday nighter for the ages. Take a recent affair between London rivals Chelsea and West Ham: The Telegraph called it a whizz-bang of a match. No messing around, just give the people what they want.

The NFL equivalent might be heated iteration of Pats - Giants, or Packers - Bears. Not the Rams (sorry LA), just because you have a new stadium to show off. Or the Skins because, I don't know, it's an election year?

Pretty packaging enough?

Listen, you have to love the nostalgic themed intro by Peter Berg that ESPN's MNF now uses. It's perfect. I'm in. But the scheduling needs work. It needs to draw a throng and fill the stadium. It needs to set digital recording boxes into a frenzy. And certainly test a few marriages.

The point of non-weekend football is to make it an event, right? You know, something you put your best undies on for that day. We have to want to rush home to kick off our shoes and fire up the grill.

Otherwise it just ends up being something we click on and move past, eventually landing on something with more action, like The Bachelor.

Mega Man vs Donkey Kong

Fictional characters from opposing worlds are often pitted against one another. Predator and Alien come immediately to mind, the two creatures mercilessly tossed into a Hollywood studio to duke it out more than once. Batman meets Superman under hostile conditions some time in 2016, and if we're not mistaken, Super Mario has already faced-off with Sonic the Hedgehog to see who has the biggest two-dimensional leap.

This week football fans contemplate the aftershocks of a mighty collision between the Lions' defender Ndamukong Suh and the Panthers' quarterback Cam Newton, after Newton repeatedly called his opponent "Donkey Kong Suh" in a press conference prior to the game. 

Not known for his bashfulness, Mega Cam seemed convinced that was the player's actual name, and given that it was delivered with the deadpan style of a Weekend Update bit on Saturday Night Live, the media took the bait. They oddly wrestled with it in fact, so unsure of its meaning or usage, they quickly determined to use it to incite Suh into some sort of barrel hurling rage. 

But when confronted by a media pack, Detroit's defensive tackle was apparently disinterested, and those appalled weren't afforded the chance to remedy the horrible mockery made of their press room. Will the social outrage ever let up? We think former Steelers QB looks like Mario, but please don't call the D.A.'s Office.

Well, Mega-Cam needed to be quick with his step and accurate with his aim on Sunday, in order to avoid the wrath of Donkey Kong, who, with a heavy thump of the earth, or a thunderous charge, could have evaporated the quarterback just like the original blue Nintendo sprite. 

As it turned out, Newton tapped his initials in for the 'game high' as his squad belted Detroit 24-7. He zinged balls over the middle, zapped them down the sideline, and then, when the throw wasn't there, zoomed past the opposition, seemingly without any power-ups. He threw 22 of 34 passes for 281 yards, but more importantly, his energy was all too much for Detroit to contain. That went for Suh too, who couldn't even stop the Panthers Player 1 by falling on him. 

Game Over.

Cowboys are the American Dream

According to the statistical maestros at ESPN, the Dallas Cowboys are America's most popular pro football team - still. ESPN Sports Polls has found that 8.8 per cent of surveyed fans support the 'Boys, which makes them more popular than even media darlings like the Packers, Pats, Steelers, or Jets - and presumably their hottest fan, Kate Upton, too. While that last point seems implausible, there hasn't been a club in the NFL's history that has built on its All American aura quite like the Cowboys, and for such a sustained period. It's the sort of branding brilliance Pete Campbell depends on to close a deal, failing other measures that is.

Think Dallas Cowboys and a multitude of images come to mind: the iconic starred helmet, Tom Landry's hat, buxom cheerleaders, Staubach's spirals and sideburns, Emmitt's spins - on an off the field, the Ring of Honor, Parcells raging along the sideline, Tony Romo scrambling, Jerry's giant arena, and well, bags and bags full of profit. America's team continues living the dream folks.