Buffalo Bills get no love in rankings ... and you know Rex likes it that way

Power rankings are a strange and cruel beast, sort of like Rex Ryan after a Quarter Pounder binge.

Often arbitrarily constructed, they tend to be short on logic and long to digest. Just how official are these things, anyway? About as official as Adam Gase's genius status, we'd say.

So how can we combat them? How can we reorganise what's been so carelessly jumbled? (I feel your pain Matt Warren of Buffalo Rumblings. We're here to help).

Don't poke the Buffalo

Let's just tackle it one team at a time. And what better place to start than Buffalo, where the home town Bills are treated like sons, and yet ranked like SOBs by people with access to the internet.

For example, Bleacher Report has the Bills 22nd on its before week 1 rankings. They also have the Jags 17 and the Raiders at 11. So, you know, why stop there? Why not say the '79 Bucs are among the greatest teams of all time?

SB Nation places the Bills slightly higher at 18, but then say the Jets are just one better.

For a more official ranking you could turn to NFL.com, which has the Bills in 16th, with a nice blurb from Elliot Harrison about making the club great again.

USA Today seems less optimistic about Buffalo, starting with the line, 'Summer was unkind to Rex Ryan ...' Woah. Take it easy, America's paper. We were just joshing. Now you're taking it too far. They have the Bills at 19.

The World Wide Leader is slightly more generous, suggesting an 8-8 season, with a 16 ranking. Still ... does Boomer know about this?

Yahoo targets holes in the defence at season's open, with a harsh 20 ranking.

And don't expect any support from the gang at Fox Sports, who say it's playoffs or bust for Rex and Co. They've dropped them down to 22.

Then there's everybody's favourite online writer, Mike Florio, who has the guts to stash Buffalo at the bottom of the heap at 29. Don't fret Bills Nation, Mike has the Dak Prescott-led Cowboys at 14 and the Sam Bradford charged Vikings at 11. There's no adequate way to interpret this behaviour, though there are like 25 different 'Talk' tabs across that NBC site, so maybe Mike's logging too many hours.

Perhaps we should leave the last word to one of best comments on the PFT page from firecracker87:

1. firecracker87 says:Sep 5, 2016 1:00 PM
   

   The Bills won the off season; why aren’t they at #1?

   45

   12

   
   

Well played sir.

Ten Things I Thought While I Read Peter King

The NFL season has kicked off with more surprises than a Bachelor episode.

The Colts were done in by the Bills' monster defense, and the glare from their awesome helmets. I’m afraid of the Bills. I thought Miami would have a potent defense this year with Suh, and they looked fairly stout in week one, but Buffalo brought on cold sweats. Get Machine Gun on the line: time to dust off the vintage Bills jacket big fella.

The Chargers looked good too. I think it’ll be a fun year for them. That division is tough, but I think they make the leap into first place. As much as I love Peyton, and trust the Broncos defense, I think their short reign atop the AFC West might be over. They looked vulnerable. Peyton's passes were floaters. And Mile High should be far more intimidating to a Ravens squad that's hardly as intimidating as it once was.

Peter King's columns are really long aren't they? I mean, does he get paid by the word or hour?

The Giants just gave it away. Sounds like there was confusion about timeouts and Eli wasn’t thinking clearly on the last play. There’s no way they should have lost in that situation. Not against Dallas, the perennial end of game fizzers. People seem to really pile it on with Eli when the chips are down. I don’t get it. Nobody's perfect and no one can have a perfect season. He’s already won two Super Bowls for crying out loud. But it's New York, and you're only as good as your last hot minute.

Other teams I like and caught glimpses of were Chicago and Cincy. Though the Bears lost, they seem to have a smart game plan. Running it. With Forte. Who else do they need? Sure, Jay Cutler, the guy you love to hate. Fine, hate him. He has an Elway-like arm and I reckon he’s tougher than people give him credit for. He’s sulky, sure. But look at his hair.

Hey, they've squeezed King's column into a single scrolling page. Nice.

While we'e on the midwestern teams, I'm really fond of Cleveland – the club – not the current team so much. So I root for them when I can. How can you not? They seem to be cursed. To that end, Josh McCown was slammed early and then Johnny Gumball came in. I think if McCown can play the Brownies will be decent. He’s a guy I’ve always appreciated: just tough and can lead. Maybe he can teach Manziel a few things, like what the 'pocket' is. Side note: there are no words for those new Cleveland uniforms.

The AFC East is anyone’s really, but surely the Fish can scoop a wild card this year. They're overdue. Tannehill has started throwing some deep balls and I’m imagining the offense is set to score some exciting touchdowns with the receivers they have. Finally. Happy Birthday Dan. Laces out.

Always enjoy the Saints. With Brees they’re a chance. But there’s little confidence with them on the defensive side. They gave up so many yards in week one against the Cards, and that’s a problem. Then again, that NFC South division is quite ordinary. The Panthers and Bucs aren't scaring the pants off a Penzance Pirate.

I actually like the Falcons more than in previous seasons. Matt Ryan is one of my favorite QBs. Take another look at his throw to the corner to Julio Jones this past weekend. Money. They're onto something in Georgia. Again.

The Eagles are entertaining. Bradford is a sound player. But I do worry he’s going to get hurt. He has a funny physique – skinny and tall. So I cringe whenever he's hit. Honestly, I think Mark Sanchez will be sent in at some point, and when that happens, cash out all of your Eagles bets.

Does PK ever drink instant coffee? Nespresso? Or guzzle the beans from the bag? Surely he must.