Cool Rankings: Football's trending teams

Who's the most powerful is important, right?

Most sports sites love an ordered list assessing "power". It's an inescapable force, like the bowel movement that overcomes Obi Wan as the Millennium Falcon is sucked toward the Death Star.

"That's no moon!"

And it surely wasn't, but rather a menacing space station that would play host to Ben's ultimate demise. It was 1977 and still feels raw somehow.

But we won't play into the hands of the powerful Empire, but instead consider those NFL teams everyone is fawning over. This is a stock count of the cool, the trendy, the water cooler contenders.

Our inaugural Cool Rankings are as follows:

1. Seattle Seahawks

The Hawks defense has most pundits, including ESPN's John Gruden and SI's Peter King, in flights of fluorescent fancy. They're good, but isn't the Packers o-line bad? There's always inordinately adored rookie quarterback, Russell Wilson, anyway.

2. San Francisco 49ers

Jim Harbaugh is the NFL's greatest coach, Alex Smith is the new Joe Montana, and the Niner defense relegates Alcatraz to the second most intimidating sight in the Bay.

3. Buffalo Bills

For some reason the Bills are still a sleeper, which is a testament to the prominence they achieved in the offseason. They lost to the New York Sanchez-Tebows in week 1 (who were so distracted by Lauren Tannehill they forgot about Ryan) and they've beaten up on the lowly Chiefs and Browns. Must be the helmets, at least they are cool.

4. Houston Texans

They might just be the new Dallas Cowboys: loaded with talent, full of expectation, and more talked about as a sexy favorite than Jessica Simpson during her Romo years.

5. Arizona Cardinals

Kevin Kolb's return to average is the feel good story of the month, outside of the real refs back like the mortal Clark Kent retrieving his superpowers, that is.

A horshoe full of Luck

Obviously when you're a highly drafted quarterback expectations are swollen and results are inevitably insufficient. The combination of potential and excitement usually override common sense, which is why some NFL clubs like the Cleveland Browns and Miami Dolphins, for example, are starting QBs who should be holding a clipboard and drinking too much Gatorade.

It's especially hard sitting top five picks who are proclaimed superstars before they lace up. Take the 1998 draft, in which Peyton Manning went first, and Ryan Leaf second: You couldn't fault either pick by the Colts or Chargers respectively, nor could you question starting either player as a rookie. They were the next big things in the NFL. And yet, while each stumbled in their first year, Sportscenter is still playing Manning highlights, while any scrambling Leaf is doing is more likely to appear on Nightline.

That rookies Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin III are lighting up the young 2012 season simultaneously is special. Each man carries himself with confidence and swagger, but most impressively, each is a leader, seemingly born for pro football's prime-time burden. Expectations are high, but in this instance of touted picks, the results are more than sufficient---they're astounding.

While many commentators are enamoured with RG3's speed, power, accuracy and Predator-like movement around the NFL battlefield, Luck looks so at ease, too, that it now feels harsh to have second guessed Indy's decision to move on from No.18. Manning's legend will live forever among the legion of blue and white, but Luck is branding a new Colts legend altogether.

The early signs of a winner are there. When the pocket collapses, Luck steps up and through it like John Elway once did. He has a knack for scrambling and sliding that reminds you of Aaron Rodgers. His three-step drop and rifle into the end zone is, well, Favre-esque. And finally, that deep throw, the one following a smooth shuffle backward, with arc and zip more tightly bound than Jennifer Love Hewitt come awards night, soars wonderfully across the fading summer.

Luck threw 20 of 31 passes for 224 yards and two touchdowns in week 2. Yes, those numbers are good, but they pale in comparison to the thrill and good fortune of his first win, which is surely one of a many this season.

Might the Bears catch us by surprise?

Editor's Note: Following this post, Bears quarterback Jay Cutler yelled at his o-line, pouted on the sideline, and turned in this statline---11 of 27 passes, with four interceptions, for just 126 yards, against the Green Bay Packers. Regardless, we still believe in the potential of the Rah Rah Bears, and any excuse to reference the movie Wild Things. 

___________________

Peyton Manning threw his 400th touchdown pass, Brandon Weeden threw four interceptions, and Tim Tebow completely threw off a touted Bills defense, in what was a strange and wonderful return to Sunday pro football.

But while you're icing down after seeing your Eagles turn turkey against the lowly ranked Brown Dogs, or taking an asprin following your Seahawks distressing loss to the Arizona Kolbs, perhaps divert your thoughts to a club that has been largely unheralded this past off-season---the Chicago Bears.

Jay Cutler's 50-yard torpedo down the middle to rookie Alshon Jeffrey was more beautiful than a Chicago-style at Kim and Carlos's Hot Dog Stand. Say what you want about Cutler's proclivity for wild things and forced errors---his Elway-like launcher could knock a steak from Yogi's grasp at 200 feet. Yes Boo-Boo, the Bears will do a little more than shuffle on through this season as long as Cutler's cutting the mustard.

Cutler was 21 of 35 for 333 yards and threw passes to six different receivers. That group included the most passive-aggressive Bear of all, Matt Forte, who is also unquestionably the most versatile back in the game right now. Forte rushed for 80 yards, but that was just to warm up. He caught three balls for 40 yards as well, in a performance that not only proved his value to Chicago's honchos, we hope, but underscored that this is now a potent and pacey offense.

That Cutler's ol' buddy Brandon Marshall "chipped in" nine receptions for 119 yards and a touchdown, must have had Chicagoans salivating like Al Bundy for a saucy redhead needing new pumps. This was 44 points---albeit against a weak opponent---that wasn't always available in previous seasons. It was an attack buoyed by its potential, and reveling in the bravado of its front man, the moody but brilliant Cutler.

By Sunday night's end they had the league's fifth best land grab with 428 yards of offense, which can only be pleasing to a club that generally hangs its hat on defense.

NFL season...almost there, almost there.....

As we close in on the first NFL kick-off like the rebels toward the Death Star, we contemplate our collective new hopes.

Above all else, that means proper football---throws with zip and tackles with venom! We want quarterbacks with pedigree, not cheap competitions between third-stringers. And we want coaches throwing clipboards, not patting guys on the rear for trying.

Red Leader, we're standing by....

So we know Mark Sanchez hasn't improved much. But Tebow hasn't improved at all. The Jets know what they have and that's two QBs who at least bring the ladies through the gate. Congratulations Woody.

But if you thought the Jets were loosing altitude, how about the low-flying Cardinals? They went all in with Kevin Kolb, and Kolb went all in on looking like Betty White. Now it looks like John Skelton's job, and that's more upsetting than catapulting your family truckster across the Arizona desert.

50 yards....

If only the Cards could generate that sort of tally.



We’ve also rediscovered that Michael Vick throws out more limbs than out routes. His fragility could undermine a championship-caliber squad in Philly. Brace yourself for plenty of Andy Reid post-game apologies, and surely a few Sunday night cheesesteaks.

Then there’s the Raiders, whose speedy receivers could rattle Usain Bolt. But not opposing corners. No sir. That’s because Carson Palmer seems to be regressing in his twilight. Maybe it’s Leinart Time? Let's not lose our heads.

How about Adrian Peterson? The guy busts a knee so badly the thought of him turning on it again makes you wince. And yet he’s ready for Week 1. It’s an impossibility. A freakish comeback. Supernatural! Here’s hoping AP is more sturdy than the Metrodome roof.

By contrast, any time Brady is on his rump...well, maybe not if you're a Pats fan. The New England o-line is a worry, not just for the state of the attack but Brady’s psyche, which can loosen like a New England apple cobbler when he's bumped. Okay fine. He's still---still!---the benchmark.

Did you hear Peyton Manning’s neck is playing QB for the Broncos now? Yep, it’s received more reviews than the greatest signal-caller of the last decade himself. In truth, Peyton looks good, and it’ll be a joy to see him tossing TDs again. Especially when The Neck faces off against his rival at Gillette in Week 5.

Remember the Titans? They should be a playoff team with the weapons they stash. And yet, quarterback is never a lock with these people, because Hasselbeck has some rust, and Locker is shiny and new. Neither one appears to have the mettle.

Just as rain and winds hit Florida, some hard knocking drama brewed in the Dolphins locker room. Rookies starting, veterans cut, egos wounded, and a proposed logo change in the works. It all smacks of a rebuilding phase. At least the cheerleading squad remains formidable.

The Cowboys wideout Dez Bryant had 63 catches and nine touchdowns last season. This season he's already scored Jerry Jones's so-called rules and a curfew. Should be a smokin' season in the Big D.

And finally, the New York Giants, the reigning Super Bowl champs no less, are being picked as the second best team in the NFC East. Either the experts like taking a beating or this is their perverse way of motivating the Big Blue defense. Thank you experts.

It's just the preseason Kevin, relax

Let's remember it's the preseason. That's what they like to tell us. But it's hard to excuse "unofficial" interceptions and flat-out ineptitude, isn't it?

Take the Titans' Jake Locker, who threw wildly and off-balance against the Bucs Friday. He darted up field in the end, because overthrows and misguided decisions just weren't cutting it. Funny that. Locker was 4 of 11 for just 21 yards on the day. Thank goodness for Chris Johnson.

How about the much maligned Kevin Kolb, who looked nervous on the sideline, petrified in the pocket, and demoralized by the time he'd logged his minutes against the Raiders. Is it safe to say the Kolb era is over in Arizona? Oh, Kevin. We thought it was just the preseason, too.

Then there's those Hard Knocking quarterbacks of Miami, Ryan Tannehill and Matt Moore, oh, and the suddenly bed-ridden David Garrard who still might start after Friday's dire display. It's a competition, they tell us, but we know better.

The truth is, Matt Moore, after his stellar second-half last season, deserves the starting job---not a competition. He not only gave the team stability en route to a 6-3 finale, but injected some life into the offense. The receivers finally had someone noticing them down field. It was a breath of fresh air in the humid confines of South Beach.

But in the NFL, the grass is always greener on the other side. Right now, Moore is off the grass and into the swamp. Tannehill is new and shiny, and has a beautiful young wife. He's hungry and untainted, slinging it and winging it. This means everything in pro football. Forget that he has very little experience or isn't seeing beyond the first read. Tannehill, in the eyes of both fans and media, is the starter.

It's just the preseason, but it tells us so much.

McFadden needs air like a fine wine

Recent article from XtraPoint Football on Xlog

The word out of Napa, other than that the Valley’s 2009 Cabernets are now drinkable, is that Darren McFadden is tearing by defenders in training camp – just like you remember him doing.

If it seems a while since we’ve seen No.20, that’s because it has been. He missed the last nine games of the 2011 season with a foot sprain equivalent to a cracked axle. That’s the sort of problem you can’t simply rev through, hoping to get to Wendy's before grinding to a painful stop. No, that's at least a few days taking the bus folks, mustard down the shirt with every pothole.

But through the first six games of last season, McFadden led the NFL with 600 yards rushing, and had five touchdowns. Those are the beginnings of MVP numbers. It’s the endings that are undermining it all.

In recent seasons McFadden has led the pros in yards per carry with more than five a pop, but because he’s not always on the field, he's never earned as many Chris Berman mentions as he deserves. And you know Boomer likes to showcase his gravelly Ralph Kramden-sounding Raaaiiiiideeers impression whenever possible. McFadden needs to feed the beast!

Surely the issue is the way he runs – hard, and with perpetual pace. He’s the type of rusher that sees space and punches the gas, blasting into daylight like Andretti for the checkered flag. McFadden has Olympic technique – the sort of form that makes you recall sprinter Michael Johnson - upright, pumping and purposeful. Like Super Mario. But just as with Nintendo's highest profile plumber, it's also an approach that requires space---and generally few hammer-throwing turtles---to succeed. 

Raiders quarterback Carson Palmer recently called the back “unreal” and “explosive”. His speed is unreal. But the explosiveness, that rapid early motion, is perhaps affecting his longevity. It might be just what tweaks the knee, or jabs the toe, or cracks the axle. Or maybe it’s just bad luck. And yet – and I only say this because I want to see a full 16 games of McFadden – he needs to be more selective on his runs. When he hits the gaps, there’s a silver and black blur nobody's catching. Once he enters the pit of monsters awaiting him at that second level, however, McFadden can take a beating, as all marked men do. 

Sometimes, the hard runner needs to be smarter.

The Raiders can help counter the battering by giving McFadden enough spells on the sideline, but also by using him more out wide, where he’s proven to be an exceptional receiver and runner after the catch (over four seasons he's averaged no less than eight yards per reception). While the Adrian Petersons churn across the gridiron, over and through people, all power and grimace, McFadden blazes like a Ferrari. And a Ferrari is best on the freeway, not ricocheting into Buicks.  

There’s plenty of tread on those tires, but it’s no good if the car’s always in the shop.   

NFL training camp's most telling numbers

Infographics are in seemingly more places now than Terrell Owens. But unlike TO, they're not going to unsettle your favourite quarterback, or disrupt the inner workings of your team. They're simply colorful and informative...like John Madden.

So we're pleased to bring you our first ever football infographic, courtesy of our new friends over at The Football Educator. This one is about training camp, and interestingly represents the amount of Gatorade consumed, or at least made available for consumption---twenty-five cases! (Note: we can't confirm how much of the Jets' 25 were solely consumed by Rex Ryan but hope an infographic is in the offing).