Pro football jerseys are special because they display so little and yet conjure so much. So which NFL threads standout thus far in 2020?
Well, the Cleveland Browns have gone old school with their new unis ... and the universe is unified once again. I love this dog brown Browns iteration which harkens back to the Kosar era, with its gaudy orange against basic white stripes. It's clean, crisp and completely lacking in confidence. It's a last minute prom date. A 1950s Packard Corvette. Old. School. It smacks of football tradition and evokes much better times on the gridiron along the Lake Erie shore.
6. So, Cleveland's is my sixth favorite jersey this season, fittingly ranked in line with the Browns' own No.6, Baker Mayfield.
Where to wear it? Under your prom tuxedo ... or on top.
5. This all-black offering from the Falcons is so slick, so intimidating and so Return Of The Jedi cloak and sabre cool, that it's a must-have here. I also don't mind the 'ATL' lettering, perfect for our attention-deficient society.
Where to wear it? To a distant roadhouse that only serves Jagermeister.
4. It's not easy moseying up to the Cowboys because, well, some of the posse is a little loose. But you can't go past these jerseys - the dark blue, the silver and white stripes and yes, the iconic navy star. It's all there, ready to wow fans, even if the Dallas play does not.
Where to wear it? To the mall food court, where you can preen and pose it.
3. Sticking with the NFC East, will you just have a look at the Re-- I mean Washington Football Team now. The brilliant burgundy, the gold-tinged yellow, the trim, the large numbers and zero identity - I mean, is it 1936? Sometimes I wish it was because Washington would be much better at football.
Where to wear it? To the Smithsonian, or to Checkers, whichever comes first.
2. The Saints black jersey with gold is so damn cool there's little more to say. The contrast works better than deep fried dough and powdered sugar on Bourbon Street. Well, almost.
Where to wear it? Out to an oyster and beer lunch.
1. The Chargers lightning bolted shoulders is key here. Come on, it's a white jersey with near-faded pale blue and yellow, teamed up with crazy bolts of zig-zag lightning. It really shouldn't work. It's superhero cartoonish. The branding team should have been marched from the facility before the morning donuts hit the boardroom table. But wait! Have another look. This jersey is a flash of magic. It's a showcase of how very little effort can equal much, much more ... which suitably matches the club's general approach to its offense.
Where to wear it? While riding a cruiser bicycle along the beachfront. Hot pants optional.
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