Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Cowboys are the American Dream

According to the statistical maestros at ESPN, the Dallas Cowboys are America's most popular pro football team - still. ESPN Sports Polls has found that 8.8 per cent of surveyed fans support the 'Boys, which makes them more popular than even media darlings like the Packers, Pats, Steelers, or Jets - and presumably their hottest fan, Kate Upton, too. While that last point seems implausible, there hasn't been a club in the NFL's history that has built on its All American aura quite like the Cowboys, and for such a sustained period. It's the sort of branding brilliance Pete Campbell depends on to close a deal, failing other measures that is.

Think Dallas Cowboys and a multitude of images come to mind: the iconic starred helmet, Tom Landry's hat, buxom cheerleaders, Staubach's spirals and sideburns, Emmitt's spins - on an off the field, the Ring of Honor, Parcells raging along the sideline, Tony Romo scrambling, Jerry's giant arena, and well, bags and bags full of profit. America's team continues living the dream folks.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Tebow and Sanchez spitballing

In spite of the passive-aggressive offseason criticism, the pent up big city anxiety, and the Woody Allen-like pessimism, the Jets are likely to have a successful offense in 2012-13 for one simple reason: quarterbacks Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow are able to move on from mistakes faster than Don Draper.

At a recent training session, each QB revealed better navigation of the press pocket than anything they could do behind center.

Sanchez said of his approach to improving: “Don’t get caught up in who completed what ball, who didn’t — don’t even let your mind go there. It’s not worth the time. It’s a waste. Just focus on the next play, have a short memory and keep playing. Be the leader this team needs.”

Tebow said of his error prone workout: "It's definitely frustrating, but it's seven-on-seven and those plays are the first time I ran them. I'll learn from it. Honestly, it won't bother me again. When you make a bad play, put it behind you and move on."

At this rate both men could be benched for Fireman Ed and still find the silver lining.

"He's just such a fiery competitor, with tremendous spelling skills, and nobody utilizes the crowd's energy like Ed does," they might say in unison to a throng of reporters. "Don't underestimate the reach of that man's hose."

Lolo Jones tweets would ensue.

Monday, May 21, 2012

The 46, aged and grilled to perfection

John Candy

There's been some chatter about the old 46 defense lately - not to be confused with John Candy's Old 96er in The Great Outdoors -  mainly because the Jets are looking to implement more of it in 2012, according to The Star-Ledger. While we all have visions of Mike Singletary and the Bears flustering and thumping block-padded eighties' offenses using the 46, it's hard to know what actually transpired when the formation unfolded. Part of that was due to the swirling movement in the middle, the other part probably due to beer.

Mike Singletary

Buddy Ryan's 46 is simply a version of the 4-3, stacking eight in the box but six on the line. Key to any play was clogging the middle with three boulders opposing the offensive line's middle. These men, if they were big enough - and in Chicago they were bigger than the Sears, the Chase and Hancock combined - would essentially steer the play the way they wanted. That meant running was futile. Then on the pass, Ryan sent everyone like a pack of wolves. The strong safety also came down in the box and played like a linebacker, on the balls of his feet, ready to pounce. It was fast, furious and more distracting to a signal-caller than Jordana Brewster.

Jordana Brewster

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Lawrence Taylor's yard sale

With Lawrence Taylor's '91 Super Bowl ring up for auction this week, more than a few fans are wondering what in the world is going on. Just the Super Bowl ring LT? What kind of sale is that?

Well fear not shoppers! For a limited time only, we're offering the following Taylor family goodies in conjunction with LT's ring.

Get in there before Usi does!

Beach sunglasses:

These designer sunglasses not only reduce glare but on the average wearer will protect cheeks and ears too. LT loved the green frames with intricate orange star design, which certainly adds some summertime class. Bids start at $1.75. 

This yellow toothbrush is still in good condition and suitable for both home or travel. Used by LT on west coast road trips! Bids start at $6.05.

Lawn chair:

This delightful lawn chair, favoured by LT when reading the playbook, is carved in a classic nineteenth century style with red oak. Ideal for all members of the family, especially those who can't squeeze into the sofa. Bids start at $12.

Friday, May 4, 2012

9 ways to be drafted in the NFL's first round

Ryan and Lauren Tannehill

  1. Be named for good fortune (Luck), or like a millionaire, Thurston (Griffin III). 
  2. Parade your gorgeous wife to upstage any doubts (Ryan Tannehill). 
  3. Hug the commish to validate choice to Jets fans (Quinton Coples). 
  4. Ride a wave of popularity, or better yet, a Crimson Tide (Richardson, Barron, Kirkpatrick, Hightower). 
  5. Be the best back in the draft (Trent Richardson), but not to the greatest of all time, Jim Brown. 
  6. Stall buzz (Chandler Jones), but accelerate credibility as a Bill Belichick pick. 
  7. Own the draft day cap, even when it doesn't fit (Dre Kirkpatrick). 
  8. Offer speed, promise a rush (Bruce Irvin), outrun Seattle's Twelfth Man. 
  9. Be a 28-year old quarterback for a team needing the real McCoy. 

The Panthers' Sir Purr confronts Robby Anderson

Sir Purr watches ... and waits. Halfway down a dark hall in the bowels of Bank Of America Stadium, Charlotte, Panthers wide receiver Robby A...