As we close in on the first NFL kick-off like the rebels toward the Death Star, we contemplate our collective new hopes.
Above all else, that means proper football---throws with zip and tackles with venom! We want quarterbacks with pedigree, not cheap competitions between third-stringers. And we want coaches throwing clipboards, not patting guys on the rear for trying.
Red Leader, we're standing by....
So we know Mark Sanchez hasn't improved much. But Tebow hasn't improved at all. The Jets know what they have and that's two QBs who at least bring the ladies through the gate. Congratulations Woody.
But if you thought the Jets were loosing altitude, how about the low-flying Cardinals? They went all in with Kevin Kolb, and Kolb went all in on looking like Betty White. Now it looks like John Skelton's job, and that's more upsetting than catapulting your family truckster across the Arizona desert.
50 yards....
If only the Cards could generate that sort of tally.
We’ve also rediscovered that Michael Vick throws out more limbs than out routes. His fragility could undermine a championship-caliber squad in Philly. Brace yourself for plenty of Andy Reid post-game apologies, and surely a few Sunday night cheesesteaks.
Then there’s the Raiders, whose speedy receivers could rattle Usain Bolt. But not opposing corners. No sir. That’s because Carson Palmer seems to be regressing in his twilight. Maybe it’s Leinart Time? Let's not lose our heads.
How about Adrian Peterson? The guy busts a knee so badly the thought of him turning on it again makes you wince. And yet he’s ready for Week 1. It’s an impossibility. A freakish comeback. Supernatural! Here’s hoping AP is more sturdy than the Metrodome roof.
By contrast, any time Brady is on his rump...well, maybe not if you're a Pats fan. The New England o-line is a worry, not just for the state of the attack but Brady’s psyche, which can loosen like a New England apple cobbler when he's bumped. Okay fine. He's still---still!---the benchmark.
Did you hear Peyton Manning’s neck is playing QB for the Broncos now? Yep, it’s received more reviews than the greatest signal-caller of the last decade himself. In truth, Peyton looks good, and it’ll be a joy to see him tossing TDs again. Especially when The Neck faces off against his rival at Gillette in Week 5.
Remember the Titans? They should be a playoff team with the weapons they stash. And yet, quarterback is never a lock with these people, because Hasselbeck has some rust, and Locker is shiny and new. Neither one appears to have the mettle.
Just as rain and winds hit Florida, some hard knocking drama brewed in the Dolphins locker room. Rookies starting, veterans cut, egos wounded, and a proposed logo change in the works. It all smacks of a rebuilding phase. At least the cheerleading squad remains formidable.
The Cowboys wideout Dez Bryant had 63 catches and nine touchdowns last season. This season he's already scored Jerry Jones's so-called rules and a curfew. Should be a smokin' season in the Big D.
And finally, the New York Giants, the reigning Super Bowl champs no less, are being picked as the second best team in the NFC East. Either the experts like taking a beating or this is their perverse way of motivating the Big Blue defense. Thank you experts.
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