Monday, September 6, 2021

AFC East is anybody's ... or nobody's ... or the Patriots'

Every new NFL season brings renewed hope, unless you're a fan of three teams not named the Patriots in the AFC East. 

The Patriots, like the smell of day old clams, hang about, linger and infuse themselves in every AFC East fan's living room, every year. Pats fans breath it in, while Jets, Dolphins and Bills fans scramble for an available window. It's been this way for 20 years.

Last season the tables turned and the Pats didn't get a whiff of the division title, and this breathed brief new life into the ol' four-team race. Suddenly, the Pats looked washed as a perennial runner-up, the Bills, looked the part of a world beater. Miami ascended, too, while the Jets might have been better if not for their odorous coach, Gas - er, sorry, Gase. 

In any event, we all knew that period of time would be short-lived, and that once the planets realigned, the Pats would again reign supreme. Now that hasn't happened just yet, but we the fans know it's imminent. The Death Star draws near and in its tractor beam will soon be a flopping Dolphin, a restless Buffalo and a sputtering Jet. It was only a matter of time before each squad returned to their rightful downtrodden slot.

And yet, there needs to be optimism at season's opening, right? 

After all, the Jets have a new quarterback, Zach Wilson, that everyone in the media tells us throws a beautiful ball. His hair is beautiful, too. He's the next Aaron Rodgers! He's very cool and calm. He's ... he's ... Joe Namath without the fur!

Hey let's wait and see because we've all heard this before - five times over!

Then there's Josh Allen, who apparently will be the MVP, people tell us. Really? MVP? Look, he's good but I'm not sure he's better than eight other quarterbacks - who are these snake oil merchants, anyway? They'd tell you Matt Flynn should have been an MVP if you gave them half a minute. 

And that leaves us with Tua, the nicest quarterback in the league with the best left arm going around. Few have faith in the Miami man, and yet the same folks once told us he was a surer thing than Ray Finkle hitting the ball laces out. Make up your mind internet sh*t-spinners! 

Well, these are the thoughts swirling around at the start of a much anticipated season, where only time will tell if one of the AFC East minnows can upend the behemoth in New England. 

Can you believe this, even when they come off a losing season we fear them. I feel like Roy Scheider in Jaws ... cue the theme song ...load the harpoons ... and grab me a new pair of shorts!

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