Wednesday, November 23, 2022

8 career options for benched Jets QB, Zach Wilson

With Zach Wilson out of a gig in New York, we thought we’d chip in with some career advice. 

So here are 8 things Zach can take up while he licks his wounds and gels his quiff on the sideline. Honestly, he won't be able to say NO to some of these ideas!

1. Mug for novelty mugs: Perhaps the most obvious role for the Jets No.1 is to sell a series of ‘No.1’ branded merch. Think about it ... #1 Brat mugs, #1 Prima Donna t-shirts, #1 Back-up toilet paper, #1 in the Clubhouse headbands.

2. Serve one too many: Could there be a better opportunity for Zach than partnering with former QB sh@t-stirer, Jay Cutler? They could open a nice little unfriendly bar together, ‘Zach and Jay’s Sunday Sulk’.

3. Karate chop! The time is right for a new villain on the hit show, Cobra Kai. Listen, Zach has the looks, the attitude and even the goofy headband. 

4. Be a hero to punks everywhere: Gen Z’s most questionable cohort have had some pretty precarious champions in the past, so it’s high time they nab a new role model punk, right? Nobody lacks self-awareness or fails to take responsibility like Wilson.

5. Soak up the sideline: The Jets former no.2 pick needn’t give up football, gang! There are many in the NFL fraternity who feel there just aren’t enough self-appointed sideline stars. Zach might not throw well but word is he can really clip a board and stare at a laminated diner menu.

6. Autographs! Saved By The Bell pics sell for a pretty penny on eBay. Let the Bell save you, Zach!

7. Make "No" your thing: Press conferences are fairly boring but if you need someone who can’t read the room and has a knack for one word answers, Wilson is your man! Sure, Belichick owns the corner, but the press can't resist a much sexier negative response, surely. 

8. Get about town, man: Nobody out there has been willing to suggest gigolo, but we’ll go there. He’s got the experience, perfect hair and the Saleh-endorsed beefiness.

No comments:

Post a Comment

8 career options for benched Jets QB, Zach Wilson

With Zach Wilson out of a gig in New York, we thought we’d chip in with some career advice.  So here are 8 things Zach can take up while h...