Saturday, December 29, 2012

Roger Goodell's New Year's Journal


December 28, 2012

New Year's Resolutions / More Ideas For Leaving My Indomitable Mark On The NFL

1. Compulsory oven mitts for linemen

2. If 18-game schedule proves difficult, extend quarters by 10 minutes

3a. If 25-minute quarters are voted down, push for play during half-time

3b. In lieu of any extended play, add Wednesday Night Football to schedule

4. Remove kick-offs and replace with "pick a hand" or three-card monte

5. Provide all quarterbacks with a medieval shield

6. Eliminate tackling

7. Change Wilson ball to Nerf

8. Introduce Commissioner's power to overrule referees

9. Think of new ways to scapegoat New Orleans Saints players (or at least Jonathan Vilma) 

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