Friday, January 4, 2013

Rex Ryan’s tattoogate quiz

New York Jets coach Rex Ryan was spotted sun-baking in the Bahamas this week, and while The NY Daily News was likely thrilled by the scoop, they surely didn’t anticipate the lens being colored by Rex’s weird tattoo. Yes, the subtle-as-a-sledgehammer leader of the Jets sported a tat of a woman—presumably his his wife Michelle—wearing nothing but a green No. 6 jersey and smile. And you thought Tebow was the only one running the Wildcat!
Once everybody digested the disturbing nature of the rendering, questions of its  authenticity quickly arose, like the stench of a Sanchez throw.
So, in a vague attempt to clarify the mystery around “Tattoogate”, and determine whether or not the whole thing is indeed real, we’re providing fans the following Woodward and Bernstein-style multiple choice investigative quiz:
1. If Rex Ryan was to take a vacation with his wife, he would most likely book….
a) A foodie weekend in Hershey, Pennsylvania
b) Swimming with the turtles in Hawaii
c) A well known resort in the Bahamas
d) A suite at Caesar’s in Atlantic City
2. If Rex Ryan was to get a tattoo of his wife, he would choose to have it on…
a) His bicep
b) His calf
c) His rear
d) His inner-thigh
3. Which quarterback’s jersey would Rex most likely want his wife to wear to bed?
a) Joe Namath
b) Mark Sanchez
c) Tim Tebow
d) Tom Brady
4. Which half-naked female would Rex most likely have tattooed?
a) His wife, Michelle Ryan
b) Actress, Jeri Ryan
c) The Statue of Liberty
d) Jenn Sterger
If Rex was to play a prank on the media, he would favor…
a) Homer Simpson novelty glasses
b) A good old whoopee cushion
c) A fake tattoo of his wife
d) Mr. Underhill’s credit card

Answers: 1a, 2c, 3d, 4b, Bonus – d 

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