The Cooler: What's On Ice In Week 2 Of The NFL?

Week one of the NFL typically turned perceived realities upside down, and jiggled out the contents of our pockets to reveal actual truths. Dirty tissues, half a pack of Big Red and some loose change tumbled to the floor, but so too did an unpunched Super Bowl ticket. For all 32 teams, confidence remains high, until losses become consecutive. There's still a chance, albeit slim in some instances, of being on that ticket.

It's a beautiful time of year to say the least.

Wake up call for Pats

It's quite possible that Tom Brady exerted all of his energy celebrating that first touchdown pass to Gronk. Hey Tom, maybe drive on past Starbucks next Sunday. He must have had Cameron Wake on his mind all night and needed some extra pep, but it'll take more to stop the quickest man off the edge and with the league's fastest haircut. In week two, Brady faces the fastest truck out of a back lot, Adrian Peterson. It doesn't get any easier.

Scary good defense? 

Is Derek Carr the Raiders next franchise quarterback? He threw for 151 yards and two touchdowns in week one but more than that, Carr just looked the part. His miscues notwithstanding, Carr was confident, smart and got rid of the ball in a hurry. If Oakland can generate some runs from the backfield, Raider Nation might have something to celebrate even before Halloween. But not this week, not with the Texans defense riding into town.

Speaking of defense, how about that Jets line? Rex Ryan is about as tactful as Del Griffith in a motel room, but maybe when it comes to defense that's a good thing. The Jets unsettle signal-callers into a new pair of shorts, and while it's tough to take them on the road at Lambeau, we're not betting against the upset.

Wax on, wax off

The Steelers were sublime in the first half against the Browns. Roethlisberger looked like Plastic Man, extending plays with his stretchy limbs, while Antonio Brown mastered Ralph Macchio's crane kick, and Le'Veon Bell's charges had the Brownies begging for mercy. The defense let down later on, but it's hard to look past that steely attacking display. PS. Hoyer was good for Cleveland, while Manziel held the clipboard admirably.

Real whoppers

It's funny how some QBs get a free pass while others are worked through a grinder. Tony Romo is a hamburger pattie this week. Sure, he missed some very costly throws, but it's not like he was protected all that well early on, nor was he greatly assisted by his backs. But of course, the talking heads have been laying it on thick. Meanwhile, the likes of Joe Flacco, Geno Smith and the forever untouchable Aaron Rodgers waltz into week two like cheerleaders - never out of favor.

And on that note, isn't it about time the St Louis Rams get on the horn to Tim Tebow? In other quarterback news, Derek Anderson is back! But after his strong showing in Tampa, he surely needs to walk away on a high like George Costanza from a Kruger meeting.

"That's it, I'm out!"

If pro QBs moonlighted at your local deli

A photo taken at a Houston-based restaurant rounded the web recently because of its tongue-in-cheek dig at Texans quarterback, Matt Schaub.

The shop's sandwich board read:

Matt Schaub special - Pick Six - Toppings for you burger.

The clever idea got us thinking, what if pro quarterbacks actually moonlighted at your neighborhood deli?

So without further ado...

If Peyton Manning worked your local deli counter, orders would change last second and hit your hands before you looked up.

If Ben Roethlisberger worked your local deli counter, your pastrami on rye would end up sacked in a steaming heap.

If Geno Smith worked your local deli counter, Rex Ryan would insist a sub be named after him.

If Alex Smith worked your local deli counter, sandwiches would be quick and precise, but mostly under-appreciated.

If Cam Newton worked your local deli counter, the service would dazzle but leave you wanting more.

If Aaron Rodgers worked your local deli counter, it'd be high quality but relentless reviews by sports anchors would leave an unsavory taste.      
 
If Jay Cutler worked your local deli counter, orders would fly out with extra mustard and a sprinkle of disdain.

If Tony Romo worked your local deli counter, all wrong orders would be blamed on him, even on his day off.

If Carson Palmer worked your local deli counter, the turnovers would stand out.

Vintage Steel

The Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line worked the trenches like ash-faced miners in week 14. They barged and bumped, parried and pushed, drilled and drove, until the Browns defenders resembled spinning tops, unable to hold position.

With Big Ben Roethlisberger on a lame ankle, courageously lumbering toward his tailbacks and painfully heaving balls downfield, it was the offensive line that punched holes and carved out gaps for the attack. Sometimes they pulled, creating spaces for Rashard Mendenhall to catapult into. Other times they shifted down, pounding rushers into the soil to allow Ben enough time to throw.

It was a mighty performance from this routinely maligned group, who are sometimes small, but bulky, and more importantly, rougher than street hoods. Nobody wanted a piece of them on Thursday, not even the growling Brown dawgs, who scrapped all night to keep it close. Fill-in center Doug Legursky was tremendous on run plays, using his power and nimble feet to unravel defenders.

Ben's performance, of course, is hard to overlook. But the resilience of a depleted line and the hunger of the backs was really the story of this one. Mendenhall ran with authority, totalling 76 yards on 18 carries. Redman added 35 yards on just six carries. While the averages were very good, it was more the force of their charges - the sheer will of carrying into the fray of orange helmets. And with barely a second to change direction, they made cuts that hobbled the Browns for good.

In applying the hammer, the Steelers harked back to the Seventies version of the club that simply beat down opponents on both sides of the ball. The Black and Yellow bruised the Browns into submission, and while it was a weaker opponent than many, you can't help but feel this Pittsburgh outfit could dislodge the insides of most foes - be it the Ravens, Giants or Packers. What a contest that would be: Rodgers and his unblemished jersey, with his band of sure-handed receivers, rematching the ferocious Steelers defense and its relentless offense.

It's not easy to beat a team like Pittsburgh, make no mistake. No matter how many points you accrue, they will wear you down by controlling possession at key moments. And with the weather cooling, the Steeler resolve will only deepen. Throw in its backfield horses - of which Green Bay has none - and you wonder if they might just be able to topple the champs, given the opportunity.

Article first published as The Gritty Steelers Should be Feared on Technorati.