5 Must-Watch Teams on NFL Game Pass

There's always a handful of teams you should bookmark on NFL Game Pass. 

Not because they're ascending to greatness like the Panthers, or because they're endlessly atop the standings like the Pats, or even because their quarterback belongs on a daytime soap like the Texans, but because they're strangely interesting. You know, in a Charlie Whitehurst sort of way.

So here are 5 NFL teams to watch on Game Pass this season:

New York Giants

It's the Big Apple. It's the beloved Big Blue, one of the most unloved teams outside of New York. That means big drama. What further reason do you need? Old Man Coughlin is on gardening leave, there's new and menacing recruits, and there's still a Manning quarterbacking. So you know, buckle up, paisano!

San Francisco 49ers

How one of the sport's most iconic teams went from Super Bowl contender to outright dysfunction is befuddling. Teams like the Niners usually find their way, right? It's in their DNA: Montana. Rice. Craig. Young. And now ... Gabbert? Well, maybe. When your second-stringer gets more headlines than your starter, you know things are about to get weird.

Miami Dolphins

Being a Fins fan in 2016 is like being slapped with a groper. Hard. Who's running this club, anyway? That cadre of scantily clad celebrities? And why doesn't the dolphin in the logo wear a helmet anymore? That's clearly the wrong message in the concussion era, isn't it? Then there's young Tannehill. Can he throw down field, yet? The answer to that one is yes, provided you have no target in mind. All that said, what a mix of story lines.

Minnesota Vikings

They have a flash new billion dollar stadium, a new creaky veteran quarterback, and the breathless hopes of frigid fan base desperate for success. It's a moving story. At least there's still that furry horn-hatted dude ripping around on a chopper to keep hearts warm. Oh, wait ...

San Diego Chargers

Like a musty old bear at the city's famous zoo, the Chargers are constantly worried about moving house. Who moves from San Diego though, outside of a crazy NBA owner? Is this even worth discussing? Just sit back and sip on a Yellowtail, and watch Rivers zip the ball into the sun splashed horizon.

Honourable mentions:

• New York Jets - FitzMagic, or fits of panic?

• Jacksonville Jaguars - Still don't get the two-tone helmet. Do you dip it in water or something?

• Chicago Bears - The offensive line has been sured up. Over to you Jay.

• Houston Texans - Will Oz play, or bail to watch his girlfriend sing in the choir?

The Jets know what they're doing, okay?

The New York Jets have ensured that their long held strategy of fielding an inadequate starting quarterback remains in place, by neglecting to sign anyone of talent at the position for the 2015 season.

Jets brass confirmed this past month that the wildly inaccurate and remarkably illogical, Geno Smith, will continue to hold the club's starting QB job and that it is - amazingly - his to lose. New Yorkers, perhaps indifferent to the situation after watching Jets quarterbacks perform the role with all the ineptitude of Peanuts' Charlie Brown, must thank their lucky stars that their city has two football teams.

This, of course, is little consolation for those who bleed Jets green and not Giants blue. Instead, these fans must do all they can to sedate themselves amid the lunacy exhibited by their team's management, who clearly hold the sport's premiere position in such low regard. How else can one explain the club's signing of journeyman Ryan Fitzpatrick, a notably more intelligent signal-caller than Smith, and equally evasive in the open field, only to relegate him to the back-up role?

Fitzpatrick isn't a Manning, it should go without saying, but he's also no Mark Sanchez. The problem, it seems, is that he's somewhere in between and for the Jets, this poses a confounding situation: Should they play Smith and guarantee themselves perhaps four wins, or run with Fitzpatrick and aim for eight, maybe nine?

The former is a more familiar goal, and as suggested, within the club's existing mode of operation. The latter, meanwhile, bears potential, and that's never been the Jets' strong suit. They prefer tallying up picks and turnovers, you see. We all work better with what we know, right?

What To Watch For: Fins - Raiders In London

When square shouldered American footballers storm into London’s Wembley Stadium this weekend, 80,000 odd sports fans will hope for a spectacle. They’ll anticipate heroic quarterbacking, rampaging rushes and pulverising tackling. But just as it is for fans of an English club treading the waters of relegation, hope isn’t always nearly enough.

In a historical context, they don’t come much mightier than the Raiders and Dolphins, who have five championship titles and rooms full of legends between them. Unfortunately, most of that success occurred in the 1970s, when roughhousing was as lauded as route running. The two clubs actually played in one of the NFL’s greatest ever games, a playoff in 1974 that saw six lead changes and an impossible last minute Raider victory.

That, however, was back when Gerald Ford was the American President and Elton John got around shirtless. The current Raiders offense looks predictably futile, and Miami’s once promising outlook is sinking like a bloated alligator into the swampy Everglades. While good fortune in English football seems to follow, well, the fortunes of very wealthy club owners, the American game is more dependent on the cohesion of its elaborate 53-man rosters. Given the locker room bullying fiasco Miami’s front office faced last year, it’s easy to see how teammates can drift apart.

Now understand that I say this not with a columnist’s disdain for sporting mediocrity, but rather with a face paint coloured tear bleeding down my cheek, because these are, in fact, my two favourite NFL clubs. Perhaps like many of you, I grew up tuning into the glittery gladiatorial battles of this sport from a world completely foreign to airborne theatrics, forward passing and referees who spend more time on microphones than Japanese stockbrokers in karaoke bars. 

In Australia, at least, American football had long been scoffed at because its players wore so much protective equipment and there were countless stoppages to the game. However, with recent concerns about concussions, and the fact that spectators are just as likely to break from the action to check their phones as another timeout occurring, such criticisms seem antiquated. We’ve changed, but the football remains thrilling.

I was always taken by the Dolphins because of the masterful quarterback Dan Marino. His stellar, albeit Super Bowl ring-less career, was underscored by his fireball throws and equally fiery temper. He desperately wanted to win and as long as he was on the pitch, the Dolphins always had a chance of fulfilling that desire. Miami fans haven’t felt this way since Marino retired in 1999.

With the Raiders, it was two things in the early eighties: back then they played in glitzy Los Angeles and their fans were nutters who dressed as pirates, ghouls and gorillas, among many other disturbing creatures. You can see how this might appeal to a seven year old.

Anyway, here we all are many years later, with both squads seemingly much less than the sum of their historic past. Still, don’t toss your ticket aside just yet because there are a few storylines worth following for this London fixture. 

Here are four of them, one for each quarter, perhaps:

Keys to Carr: Since taking over the starting gig from the ailing Matt Schaub, the Raiders rookie QB Derek Carr looks like the franchise signal-caller the club has waited an eternity for. It’s been a revolving door for the team at its most important position, but now Carr brings athleticism, smarts, a good arm and above all else, the type of poise this mad pirate ship needs.

Dolphins D: Miami hasn’t had much to celebrate of late but nobody can question the effort of its defensive unit. These guys charge into the backfield as if the opposing quarterback stole a tub of Gatorade.

Jumpin' James Jones: The veteran receiver has had his share of miscues but also has the ability to make great catches. If he gets an inch in the end zone, he’ll typically out leap his man to secure the ball for a score.

Trouble for Tannehill: Miami’s QB Ryan Tannehill has had a lukewarm start to the season and so as you’d expect, his seat is now hotter than a south beach tan. He’ll need to post about 300 yards worth of passing and bag a couple of touchdowns to keep his starting job.

To Run Or Gun? The QB Quandry

The modern era of football has seen two opposing ideas worked into playbooks as if it were imperative they co-exist. I’m talking about attacking the defense with either a running quarterback or a passing one, which to outsiders might seem as trivial as casting a blonde or brunette Bond girl. Let’s just agree that both work.

Of course, there’s no reason why a quarterback can’t be both, that is, an excellent runner who's also able to fire a 30-yard bullet between defenders arms, bobbing helmets and spittle. Seattle’s Russell Wilson might just be the best example of such a player, though Washington’s Robert Griffin III seemed destined for greatness before his various injuries. 

Griffin is really the ideal case study for offensive football aficionados because while his running has at times been electrifying, not since Shane Falco fell for Brooke Langton's character in The Replacements has a QB also looked so vulnerable. In short, the more mobile RG3 has been, the more likely it seemed he’d be immobilized.

So what’s the end game then?

Sliders and surfers

Many NFL coaches appear enamored with the read option, in which, the QB observes defensive movements and reacts with a run or pass accordingly. It can be tougher for some defenses to follow this than a Belichick press conference, which is why the approach finally and vehemently took hold in the pro game. But still, the question remains: is it necessary to over expose a team's most important player in the open field in this way?

Some QBs have a knack for avoiding trouble and that’s the trick, isn’t it? As a head coach, you’re less likely to feel your heart leap into your throat on a third down scramble if your play-caller gets down, slides, scoots out of bounds, or somehow manages to transport himself through time like the Silver Surfer. If only he were eligible to play.

Wilson is not only good at avoiding sacks in the Fran Tarkenton mould, but he’s clever enough to know when to step up in the pocket, when to roll out, or when to toss the ball up to the fans. This ability to read the strength of the rush seems imperative to the strategy, and yet too many young QBs are determined to counter-attack before the defense actually reaches them. I’d put RG3 in this category, along with rookie Johnny Manziel, one-year wonder Tim Tebow, and Colin Kaepernick might just be the captain of the group.

Kaepernick’s match-up against the more traditional pocket passer Jay Cutler on Sunday was truly gripping for those gripped by such differing styles, because both men are quite cool under pressure. And yet, each handle respective defensive surges in unique ways. On Sunday, at least, Kaepernick was hasty, eager to escape the pocket whenever he could to gallivant into space as he’s prone to do. Sometimes it’s devastating, other times he takes a hit, or worse, carelessly loses the ball. This, at least from the coach’s perch is devastating, and avoidable.

Cut and dry

By contrast, Cutler tends to unleash wild rockets into mosh pits of players, where you’d be more likely to see Eddie Vedder climbing out than a triumphant wide receiver with the ball in hand. But he persists with this mode because his arm strength gives him the confidence to do so. I’m sure his very cool hair gave him the pluck to ask out Kristin Cavallari too. Such is the orbit of Planet Cutler. 

All kidding aside, Cutler mostly sticks to the pocket and finds open men – often incredibly large Madison Avenue size men, in the case of the current Chicago unit. He runs, only as needed, and he did so splendidly against the 49ers. It was his patience on offense, you could argue, that helped the Bears make their comeback. Conversely, it was Kaepernick’s lack of it, that contributed to his team’s undoing.

The Elway

Of course, running quarterbacks are not new, nor are those who can both run and throw. I think of John Elway during these types of discussions because, while there may never have been a better ball thrown than the one delivered by Denver’s great No.7, there may also have never been a signal-caller at his size, who proved more exciting when rumbling into the secondary (maybe Ben Roethlisberger, though he's slightly bigger). Elway wasn’t fast and at times looked rather cumbersome, but he ran opportunistically and cleverly, and used his bulk to get down field. It was also never for show, but rather was about results and this is an important distinction.

Not that the likes of Kaepernick, or even the Jets’ Geno Smith is seeking more than positive yardage, though there is an air of showmanship about some of the modern day QBs which perhaps fuels their ambition to leave the the pocket. At least a player like Aaron Rodgers has perfected his passing from back in the turret, which helps to make his rushes more of a threat.

After all, the threat of the run can be just as lethal because it makes the defense uneasy. RG3 basically patented this threat two years ago, and such was his prowess on the read, that even his former coach seemed uneasy. But that’s pure conjecture of course: Mike Shanahan always looks like a guy who’s conducted some business in the men's room only to find there’s no toilet paper left.

Forever Young

In or out of the pocket, the aim should be finding an advantage. From the warmth of the couch, some running plays look grossly premeditated, or even forced in some instances, and with a few players working the option, that’s surely not beneficial to an offense. 

I’m sure that even the Candlestick rambler, Steve Young, weighed up his options on each play. He talks about reading through progressions all the time as an ESPN analyst, which makes me think that even when it looked like Young was eager to burn rubber, he always kicked the tires on the possibility of stretching the defense with a well place throw. On his most famous run he shaped to throw, it wasn't there, so he ducked, glanced up and took off.

Young ran for more than 500 yards and threw for 3,500 more in 1992, according to NFL.com numbers. By no means does every QB have this capability, as it requires a combo of athleticism and awareness. However, the best quick steppers are usually also the calmest thinkers too, and that's not always a quality marked in draft board margins. But maybe it needs to be.

Mega Man vs Donkey Kong

Fictional characters from opposing worlds are often pitted against one another. Predator and Alien come immediately to mind, the two creatures mercilessly tossed into a Hollywood studio to duke it out more than once. Batman meets Superman under hostile conditions some time in 2016, and if we're not mistaken, Super Mario has already faced-off with Sonic the Hedgehog to see who has the biggest two-dimensional leap.

This week football fans contemplate the aftershocks of a mighty collision between the Lions' defender Ndamukong Suh and the Panthers' quarterback Cam Newton, after Newton repeatedly called his opponent "Donkey Kong Suh" in a press conference prior to the game. 

Not known for his bashfulness, Mega Cam seemed convinced that was the player's actual name, and given that it was delivered with the deadpan style of a Weekend Update bit on Saturday Night Live, the media took the bait. They oddly wrestled with it in fact, so unsure of its meaning or usage, they quickly determined to use it to incite Suh into some sort of barrel hurling rage. 

But when confronted by a media pack, Detroit's defensive tackle was apparently disinterested, and those appalled weren't afforded the chance to remedy the horrible mockery made of their press room. Will the social outrage ever let up? We think former Steelers QB looks like Mario, but please don't call the D.A.'s Office.

Well, Mega-Cam needed to be quick with his step and accurate with his aim on Sunday, in order to avoid the wrath of Donkey Kong, who, with a heavy thump of the earth, or a thunderous charge, could have evaporated the quarterback just like the original blue Nintendo sprite. 

As it turned out, Newton tapped his initials in for the 'game high' as his squad belted Detroit 24-7. He zinged balls over the middle, zapped them down the sideline, and then, when the throw wasn't there, zoomed past the opposition, seemingly without any power-ups. He threw 22 of 34 passes for 281 yards, but more importantly, his energy was all too much for Detroit to contain. That went for Suh too, who couldn't even stop the Panthers Player 1 by falling on him. 

Game Over.

The Cooler: What's On Ice In Week 2 Of The NFL?

Week one of the NFL typically turned perceived realities upside down, and jiggled out the contents of our pockets to reveal actual truths. Dirty tissues, half a pack of Big Red and some loose change tumbled to the floor, but so too did an unpunched Super Bowl ticket. For all 32 teams, confidence remains high, until losses become consecutive. There's still a chance, albeit slim in some instances, of being on that ticket.

It's a beautiful time of year to say the least.

Wake up call for Pats

It's quite possible that Tom Brady exerted all of his energy celebrating that first touchdown pass to Gronk. Hey Tom, maybe drive on past Starbucks next Sunday. He must have had Cameron Wake on his mind all night and needed some extra pep, but it'll take more to stop the quickest man off the edge and with the league's fastest haircut. In week two, Brady faces the fastest truck out of a back lot, Adrian Peterson. It doesn't get any easier.

Scary good defense? 

Is Derek Carr the Raiders next franchise quarterback? He threw for 151 yards and two touchdowns in week one but more than that, Carr just looked the part. His miscues notwithstanding, Carr was confident, smart and got rid of the ball in a hurry. If Oakland can generate some runs from the backfield, Raider Nation might have something to celebrate even before Halloween. But not this week, not with the Texans defense riding into town.

Speaking of defense, how about that Jets line? Rex Ryan is about as tactful as Del Griffith in a motel room, but maybe when it comes to defense that's a good thing. The Jets unsettle signal-callers into a new pair of shorts, and while it's tough to take them on the road at Lambeau, we're not betting against the upset.

Wax on, wax off

The Steelers were sublime in the first half against the Browns. Roethlisberger looked like Plastic Man, extending plays with his stretchy limbs, while Antonio Brown mastered Ralph Macchio's crane kick, and Le'Veon Bell's charges had the Brownies begging for mercy. The defense let down later on, but it's hard to look past that steely attacking display. PS. Hoyer was good for Cleveland, while Manziel held the clipboard admirably.

Real whoppers

It's funny how some QBs get a free pass while others are worked through a grinder. Tony Romo is a hamburger pattie this week. Sure, he missed some very costly throws, but it's not like he was protected all that well early on, nor was he greatly assisted by his backs. But of course, the talking heads have been laying it on thick. Meanwhile, the likes of Joe Flacco, Geno Smith and the forever untouchable Aaron Rodgers waltz into week two like cheerleaders - never out of favor.

And on that note, isn't it about time the St Louis Rams get on the horn to Tim Tebow? In other quarterback news, Derek Anderson is back! But after his strong showing in Tampa, he surely needs to walk away on a high like George Costanza from a Kruger meeting.

"That's it, I'm out!"

Florida Football And Its Leading Offenses

Life by the beach inspires an array of styles, not least of which is the irrepressible Hawaiian shirt. It’s an item that not only conjures the islands, but also California surfing, Miami boardwalks, and Andy Reid at the post-game podium.

For every elaborate floral print—and apologetic head coach—however, there’s a slick suit, and in a subtropical climate like Florida, there’s something both wildly insane and wonderfully cool about that. Of course, the man that made the suit-loose-tie combo iconic in the Sunshine State was Frank Sinatra, and to this day, the Chairman is the benchmark for making impossibly stylish sartorial moves.

Speaking of which, pro football’s three Floridian teams have also been daring to dream of greatness, if not on the sporting field then en route to it. For these clubs, 2014 might be highlighted by colorful runs from the locker room more so than actual footballing prowess. Still, in some circles, like club marketing meetings and around pro shop water-coolers, this might be a thrilling season. Indeed fashion, like football, is all about your perspective.

Which brings me to the latest ensembles of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Miami Dolphins and Jacksonville Jaguars, teams known for sun splashed decals. In the case of the Bucs, it’s not that their new unis are lacking pizazz, but more so that the team's brand and heritage has been put to the sword. Since the NFL banned the club from wearing its vintage creamsicle collection (due to nonsensical concerns over ill-fitted helmet switches), we don’t see it anymore. Instead, we’re faced with the bold red and beautiful pewter combination—now accompanied by an enlarged helmet logo—which is in its own way striking, and certainly useful to people short of sight.

Then there's the Dolphins, who have gone from their famed aqua to a distinctly brighter blue, and more notably, from a cartoon dolphin wearing a helmet to a sleeker elongated version completely void of protective head wear. What would Ol' Blue Eyes say? This proved a difficult adjustment for many among the Miami faithful, because the club's most iconic images are those awash with its venerable branding, that of Strock, Griese, Csonka, the Killer Bs, Duper, Mercury and Marino. You simply can't erase a winning formula. Well, you can, you just need a 40 year buffer since the last major success.

Finally, Jacksonville's new two-tone helmet is really quite astonishing. Did they run out of gold sharpies or something? I'm just not sure what to make of the whole amalgam, which seems more confused than Senator Keely in South Beach. When they called it the bold new city of the south, they weren't messing around, huh?

Now none of these designs are offensive as such, it's just that they defy tradition. And if we start neglecting NFL traditions, then what do we have? That's right, an even grizzlier version of Coach Ditka. And nobody wants that. So the only way to subdue the poked bear is to get Errol Flynn back on the side of Tampa's hat, demand that Flipper straps up, and have the Jags revert to their all black dome. Anything less than these moves would be akin to Colin Farrell trying to be Don Johnson, the ultimate of Floridian vices.

Bounty Hunters Out As Fantasy Tilts Into New Era

In the world of money collection there have been a few exceptional talents. Among them, Rocky Balboa, Chili Palmer and that roundish guy from Rounders. Not surprisingly, they all packed a punch, and a few pounds.

The ultimate pound of flesh guy was Shakespeare's Shylock, of course, but it's way too early in the football calendar to get literary. Let's save that for when the Raiders and Dolphins meet in London Town.

Now you could employ one of the aforementioned goons to collect your fantasy football payments, but it’d probably come at a premium and who knows if you’d come away without a black eye for your trouble. Alternatively, there's a more roguish figure like Boba Fett, who always seemed efficiently cool, but you know, I think that weird salivating sandpit in Return Of The Jedi may have digested him by now.

Meanwhile, there's a company by the name of Tilt that's based in San Francisco and formerly known as Crowdtilt, which has moved into this arena — the seemingly untapped market of fantasy football fee collection.

The premise of its new offering is that collecting league entry fees can be a hassle, and while I've never had to do it, I've certainly sensed the agitation it's caused league managers when asked for "just two more days...please...I'll pay you double....whatever you want."

Who knew fantasy commissioners wielded the power of Don Corleone?

Using Tilt, which has partnered with sports media giant ESPN in this endeavor, league commissioners log in through Facebook, and can set payments and the number of teams involved before any prize money is made available. 

The company charges 95c fee for each team using a debit card and an additional 2.9% processing charge if the payment is made by credit card. This is a one time fee, it should be noted. Commissioners can also communicate with team owners in their league through the Tilt system and customize payouts as required.

The partnership with Disney-owned ESPN is a strong turn for Tilt, something in the realm of Colin Kaepernick looping a long ball to Vernon Davis. This is a joint score, however, because Tilt's technology will provide ESPN and its fantasy players with an easy to use and secure payment set-up, which was previously lacking. On the other side, ESPN's brand clout presumably appealed to Tilt.

Tilt started in 2012 as a firm that helps people crowdfund, raise or pool money. Last year it shortened its name to Tilt with the aim of broadening its vision to include the idea of something tipping or tilting behind a critical mass. In this vein, moving into fantasy football is a clever step.

Pro Football In 10 Yard Pixels

My favorite football video game as a kid was the mental headlock, 10-yard Fight. 

I was nine when it was released, which gifted me with a suitable lack of expectation and a necessary amount of patience to enjoy such a limited game. But then again, 10-yard Fight moved video gamers beyond Atari’s raw pixilation and into, well, a slightly sharper variation of little blurry squares. 

The beauty of Fight—as anyone nostalgic about the original batch of Nintendo offerings will attest to—was its simplicity. No fancy intro featuring Kid Rock or Creed. No mistimed broadcasting on a loop. No overcompensating mini-games because the main product’s bogged down in complex playbooks. 

Instead, Fight resourced one offensive mode—the read-option. Your quarterback simply took the snap and could make three choices: 1) run, 2) toss the ball horizontally to a running back, or 3) throw the ball to your lone down-field receiver. It was the sort of stark, unscheduled, draw-it-up-the-sand approach to football that made you fall in love with the sport in the first place. 

The Fight signal-caller, hurriedly scans for space, reads the lean of defenders’ bodies and chooses an angle, by foot or by air. It’s a basic premise with an understated beauty. But 10-yard Fight is polarizing because most gamers, and even those with a penchant for anything retro, prefer the oft-heralded Tecmo Bowl. And to be fair, Tecmo seems a superb blend of dynamism and graphical prowess in hindsight. 

Fight never matched its game play, and yet made up the difference with quirky, old-fashioned touches, chief of which were its sound effects. Its mirthful audio snippets can only be described as cuts from an abandoned Casio keyboard recording session, which provided both practical and emotional checkpoints for a game that hinged on such things. Fight’s intermittent jingles signalled new downs, first downs, and touchdowns—but more importantly, success! 

Football deconstructed into 10-yard struggles posed a feasible and enticing challenge in the Eighties, kind of like the “It girls” they casted during the era’s teen movies: Cindy Mancini in Can’t Buy Me Love or Andy in the The Goonies were just the types of love interests nerds locked in their rooms with Nintendo could not attain, but hoped to. Yet, if you consider today’s It girl—Madden on the Xbox, if you will—they’re all uninhibited nymphs whose mere silhouettes are enough to unsettle the fit of your Dockers. It’s a challenge of another kind. 

Fight has its own sex appeal, though. How about, for example, when the marching defense is coming for you, with that tappity-tap drumming sound in your ear? Then, at a speed equitable to the one typically seen on scratchy CBS replays, you retreat your quarterback toward your own end zone, spinning and ducking in a Tim Tebow-esque fashion until ultimately you find yourself yards from the goalposts, at which point your only option – your only read – is to heave it back down field toward your lone receiver. 

If you’re lucky, the ball will sail beyond the smattering of defenders—who by this stage have mostly drifted toward the sideline in search of pixilated Gatorade—and will conclude its flight in the opposite end zone, in the hands of your receiver. The bird-like whistle will sound repetitively as your man leaps for joy on the spot, seemingly with no place else to go. You glance at the rapidly ticking clock and get ready to defend, where you’ll soon play the part of cumbersome obstacle, and your opponent will attempt to secure ground in highly-coveted 10-yard increments.

Candlestick Park: One Last Drop Back

One reason football makes other sports feel like watching checkers in heavy fog, is its iconic settings. Those big places, after all, are more than bricks and mortar, beer taps and urinal cakes, crumpled beer cups and forgotten ticket stubs under seats. They give meaning to the NFL. 

Along with Tom Brady's hair.

Soulless concrete stadiums enliven on game days because of the intangible energy that wraps around the field and its surrounding bleachers. It lifts players to rare heights and fans two feet from their seats, and lingers long after the final whistle. Atmosphere needs a place to swell. 

Sure, it might quieten each Monday, drowned out by the buzz of lawnmowers, the whip of sprinklers and sweeping brooms, and SportsCenter's 'Boo-yahs'. But any metaphysical matter that can fill an arena is capable of setting into its beams and lodging in crevices, both those within gray pylons and ourselves. It then stays a while. It's simply something that giant screens and wi-fi technology could never connect us to. 

Which is why it hurts to see such old places pulverised. 

Candlestick Park in San Francisco is slated for demolition later this year, according to SFGate.com, allowing for a prolonged farewell that may even include Paul McCartney doing a creaky version of Long Tall Sally. 

Ohhhh baby, we're gonna have some fun that night!

In the late summer of 1966, The Beatles added yet another layer to 'the Stick's' iconic fabric as only they could, in what was to be their final live show anywhere. The guitars twanged richly that evening, but it's hard to be sure over time, given the piercing screams that drown the show's lasting audio. Hitting fewer vocal peaks these days, I'm sure Sir Paul wouldn't mind those same squeals the next time around.

The Fab Four played their last live show at the Stick

It's indeed a cruel twist fate that awaits all venerable stadiums sitting on prime real estate: Developers eventually catch up to rising markets and no amount of NFL memorabilia could outstrip the value of a building on Candlestick Point. No, men with grand visions, grander than bulldozing from the backfield to the end zone, that is, chase these sorts of opportunities down like the Coyote after the Roadrunner. If they catch you, your team as you know it, is through.

If only Roger Craig was still running.

How things change. One day you're wondering if Montana can hit Rice on a fade, the next Montana's saying things like he was never that enamoured with the park anyway.

Joe, say it isn't so?

The Stick, glorious home of the mighty 49ers for more than 40 years, will supposedly turn into a shopping mall and some residential space. To progress nowadays, it seems, you must supplant history - with a few walk-in wardrobes.

Niners quarterback John Brodie, 1971

The Niners are moving to Santa Clara, a decent commute south of San Francisco, and into a $1.2 billion home which is near complete. All that's apparently missing from the new Levi's Stadium is its Bandera Bermuda grass, and the players new denim pants. Okay I made that second part up. But they will be wearing denim jocks.

Listen, I get that things - especially big cement things - become outdated. Seats shrink and scoreboards expand. Paint peels and toilets decay. Where it was once easy to find a spot for a LeBaron, an SUV is different proposition. 

A visual of the new stadium in Santa Clara

Yes, the new digs look pretty swish and will fast fill the Niners backdrop. Hey, shivering in the upper deck on an icy Monday night, might just become a distant memory. That's what we're aiming for, right? Before you know it, you'll be making crazy comments like you were never a fan of the old park. 

But I'll miss the place, typified by the lively bus ride through town and neighborhood streets, down to the arena where the winds are so fierce there's no justifiable reason to punt a football. But the 49ers did so anyway. And also rolled out plays that delighted fans so much, for so long.

The images and sounds of them all, the many memories, still huddle around the Stick's old walls, waiting for the next great play to be called.

Coach Walsh helps Joe look for his keys

First ones here, and we'll be the first to leave!

And they said Sochi wouldn't be ready

Russell Wilson for President, and 5 other new slogans

Like Super Mario after collecting the flower, Seahawks quarterbacking hero, Russell Wilson, packs quite a punch for a little guy. It could be argued, in fact, that Wilson always plays fiery, shooting spinning flames from his scolding hand as if Bowser is charging in on every down. And when he's not throwing, he's speeding by obstacles, zipping around hard-shelled opponents and into perilous gaps. He's a fearless competitor who knows how to pipeline the points for his squad. 

After lobbing two touchdowns and 293 yards in a comeback win against the Bears, then orchestrating the 58-0 drubbing of the Cardinals, Wilson propelled himself to "super" status---a level only a handful of QBs have attained this season. As Seattle P-I reported, he's on pace for 25 touchdowns this campaign (on 19 as of Week 14). 

And so, here at Why Football Is Cool, we're marking the Hawks' sea-change with slogan ideas for the team's 2013-14 ad campaign, inspired by Seattle's superb signal-caller.

Suggested taglines for a new Russell Wilson ad campaign in Seattle:

RUSS?! Oh, there you are.

Feeling Rusty? He's got the pill.

Russell Wilson: Not only in like Flynn, in for Flynn.

Quest Field...Century Link...let's just call it No.3 shall we?

Russell Dazzle.

Wilson for President. Another Fourteen Points, just like that.

Feasting on the NFC East

If Thanksgiving reminded us of anything, it's to be thankful for the NFC East, in spite of the baked and basted Eagles.

The division is mouthwatering, stuffed like a festive bird with all the trimmings---entertaining quarterbacks, rumbling pass rushers, gruff coaches and most importantly, rivalries of immense theatre. That's the key element in prolonging the peak of interest, defying the natural occurrence of a singular crescendo---the theatre of unpredictability. And the reigning champion New York Giants are about as unpredictable as it gets; the Cowboys as disappointing; the Redskins as thrilling; and the Eagles, well, as unseasoned. A dramatic stage has been set.

Already the Redskins deserve a standing ovation. Here was a club, so grossly commandeered from behind the offensive line and via the headset for years, you wondered if owner, Daniel Snyder, might be an even worse distributor of funds than, say, James Cameron, or Michael Bay---both world beaters in that category. Washington is suddenly more animated than Avatar ever was. 

The yet to be knighted Robert Griffin III provides the 'Skins a spread of offensive treats so sumptuous, the half-smoked hot dog from Ben's Chili Bowl is salivating. Certainly his running is a worry for defenders because truly good runners are capricious. Griffin not only cuts, he swivels and launches. It's untenable. But it's something further with him---he's unnerving. Michael Vick can tear past and edge, and yet, his presence doesn't unhinge ends in the same way. Not anymore. Griffin's attack, by contrast, is illusive as he probes for space with his feet, squeezes the ball into gaps as if it were malleable, and he finds room for that hair inside his helmet, perhaps that most unreal feat of all. 

Now that Washington is on a roll, it's feasible they could be carving Christmas turkey with a sense of comfort only a divisional leader can savour. But let's not belittle the Giants. All New Yorkers, not just those of grand political stature, or of regimented blue uniform, fight to the bitter end. It's just their way. So we should assume Big Blue Defense & Co. will bust through any complacency, and ultimately crash the playoffs. It's inevitable and you know it.

So which end of the saloon does that leave the Cowboys? In view of the leggy blonde eyeing out a Springsteen number on the Jukebox, or mumbling into a Miller Lite in the darkened corner beneath the elk? Perhaps halfway up the bar, with neither a shot at Dancing in the Dark, nor receiving hallucinatory advice from a mounted deer.

Tony Romo and Dez Bryant connected on two splendid touchdowns against the Redskins on Thanksgiving Day, which is presumably easy on your home turf and in front of a famous country singer. But for all the Cowboys' wild talent, Romo's relentless gun-slinging, and Bryant's powerful stride, they are surely victims of their own expectations. And ten gallons of good intention can't overcome that.

Against the Burgundy and Gold, America's Team stared down the barrel of a 25-point deficit---and Jerry Jones' distasteful glare---and yet, Romo bullet-holed the opposing defense like it was the O.K. Corral. Four-hundred and forty-one yards worth of spirals from the Dallas quarterback's arm later, the smoke cleared and Griffin's grin sparkled. 

Somewhat like his hero, John Elway, Griffin has that intangible knack for success. This irrepressibility is proving the difference in the NFL's toughest division.

5 reasons the Browns are better than you think

So the Brownies are fourth in the AFC North, have a 29-year old rookie quarterback, winter is coming, and their helmets are still logo-less. (Nothing against Paul Brown, but it's probably just as well).

But there's something about these guys. Five things, actually.

1) They're plucky. I mean they made Andy Dalton---the NFL's hottest of hot shots a year ago---look as potent as Gus Ferrotte during his all too brief Bengals era. Remember the infamous left-handed delivery against Cleveland in 2002? Oh, Gus.

2) Coming full-circle, Dalton threw equally awful picks of his own against the Browns in Week 6 of this season, and that's because Cleveland's defense was opportunistic, if not always on pace with Cincy's wideouts. They were excitable and it showed. The Dog Pound was pretty chuffed too.

3) The the Browns offensive line protected their ageing signal-caller, too, allowing him enough time to slap in his dentures, and launch a few. Brandon Weeden catapulted some beauties, in fact, especially the 71-yard score to fellow rookie Josh Gordon over the middle, and suddenly the Browns attack looked formidable.

4) In reality, they haven't been bettered by much over this early phase of the season: The Magnificent Eagles escaped with a single point win, and it's not like Buffalo and Cincinnati were resounding in their victories over the Browns. Let's keep things in perspective. The Browns are decent, and therefore beaming like their namesake for a moment.

5) "This was my best victory," Paul Brown told the Associated Press in 1970, after his Bengals defeated the Browns in the season's rematch. For Cleveland, this rematch win may end up being one of their best for 2012, and a genuine confidence booster in a season of incredible parity.