5 Must-Watch Teams on NFL Game Pass

There's always a handful of teams you should bookmark on NFL Game Pass. 

Not because they're ascending to greatness like the Panthers, or because they're endlessly atop the standings like the Pats, or even because their quarterback belongs on a daytime soap like the Texans, but because they're strangely interesting. You know, in a Charlie Whitehurst sort of way.

So here are 5 NFL teams to watch on Game Pass this season:

New York Giants

It's the Big Apple. It's the beloved Big Blue, one of the most unloved teams outside of New York. That means big drama. What further reason do you need? Old Man Coughlin is on gardening leave, there's new and menacing recruits, and there's still a Manning quarterbacking. So you know, buckle up, paisano!

San Francisco 49ers

How one of the sport's most iconic teams went from Super Bowl contender to outright dysfunction is befuddling. Teams like the Niners usually find their way, right? It's in their DNA: Montana. Rice. Craig. Young. And now ... Gabbert? Well, maybe. When your second-stringer gets more headlines than your starter, you know things are about to get weird.

Miami Dolphins

Being a Fins fan in 2016 is like being slapped with a groper. Hard. Who's running this club, anyway? That cadre of scantily clad celebrities? And why doesn't the dolphin in the logo wear a helmet anymore? That's clearly the wrong message in the concussion era, isn't it? Then there's young Tannehill. Can he throw down field, yet? The answer to that one is yes, provided you have no target in mind. All that said, what a mix of story lines.

Minnesota Vikings

They have a flash new billion dollar stadium, a new creaky veteran quarterback, and the breathless hopes of frigid fan base desperate for success. It's a moving story. At least there's still that furry horn-hatted dude ripping around on a chopper to keep hearts warm. Oh, wait ...

San Diego Chargers

Like a musty old bear at the city's famous zoo, the Chargers are constantly worried about moving house. Who moves from San Diego though, outside of a crazy NBA owner? Is this even worth discussing? Just sit back and sip on a Yellowtail, and watch Rivers zip the ball into the sun splashed horizon.

Honourable mentions:

• New York Jets - FitzMagic, or fits of panic?

• Jacksonville Jaguars - Still don't get the two-tone helmet. Do you dip it in water or something?

• Chicago Bears - The offensive line has been sured up. Over to you Jay.

• Houston Texans - Will Oz play, or bail to watch his girlfriend sing in the choir?

Matt Schaub Career Day

Houston Texans quarterback Matt Schaub doesn't have a big game in him, the experts are telling us. The New England Patriots are waiting mercilessly to annihilate Schaub and his pals in the divisional playoff round, and there’s nothing the NFL’s fourth best passer---according to ESPN’s passer rating stat---can do about it.

Houston, in other words, not only has a problem, but faces a freaking impossibility!

Schaub told The New York Times this week that the Texans are looking to take the next step.

“The expectations have grown and grown around here, especially in the locker room, that we expect to play good ball and to move on,” Schaub said.

You have to feel for the guy because he does everything right. He throws for 4,000 yards like he’s playing Tecmo Bowl, and his touchdown to interception ratio reads like Christina Hendricks measurements---top heavy. He’s also unassuming and modest, a quiet assassin, if you will.

But despite the cool temperament, and even though he racks up jaw-dropping stats---he’s done so since his stellar high school and college years---we know, or at least are constantly told, it takes more to seize glory.

So perhaps it’s time for Schaub to call it quits, think about a new profession, and focus on something, well, a little more him. We’ve come up with a few suggestions, just as a guide, anticipating Matt will be in no mood to think about such weighty things after the Texans turn in seven points to the Pats’ 50.

Job ideas for Texans QB Matt Schaub following the playoffs:

Rabbi or Priest – he has the hair-style already, the solemn look, plus the patience and self-forgiveness.

Accountant – the man loves numbers, just look at all those yards.

Surf shop clerk – certainly a more relaxed, low scrutiny, people person type gig.

Couples therapist – his soothing voice is less hands-under-center and more loveseat.

Cameo actor as “big brother” or “popular jock” – he’s got the height, looks, and prerequisite insecurity.

Major League pitcher - for no reason other than his zip and preference for short deliveries. Also, rarely a game goes by where he doesn't wipe his brow as if atop the mound in the seventh.

A go, no-go for Houston

Houston's pro football endeavors - both those in powder and steel blue - have seen success, but are mostly forgotten among relentless images of America's Team, the Dallas Cowboys. The Cowboys are glitz and glamour, typified by their starred helmets and tradition for the grandiose. This, of course, continues today in their state-of-the-art football theater. It sure is tough to stand out in the world of Texas football.

Houston football, however, was once about a dynamic quarterback named Moon and a horse-powered runner called Campbell. The club was flashy and exciting, and played in a then, space-aged Astrodome, on a martian-like surface. For more than 35 years the Oilers greased the wheel of football fortune, spending the majority of their time in the win column. Go on and count them: the Oilers were a force, in the early Sixties, in the late Seventies, in the late Eighties and early Nineties. Houston football - even without Super Bowl jewelry - has been, at times, astronomically good.

But of course, so much has changed lately. The sun has long set on the career of Warren Moon, Steve McNair is sadly gone, and Earl Campbell is a businessman in Austin, Texas. The Oilers played their last down in 1997, albeit in Tennessee, before transitioning to their Titanic identity of today. Sometimes change isn't for the best.

For fans back in Texas not enamored with the rodeo ride that is Jerry Jones's Cowboys, the Texans were thankfully born - a club loaded with talent and expectation but perennially short on success. Unlike the old Oilers, it certainly feels like the Texans are always mired in the mediocrity of 8 - 8 seasons. Last season was even worse at 6-10. The oil well, if you will, is bone dry. But true to form, the Texans are hyped as a winner again in 2011, hoping to finally conquer the AFC south, with the Indianapolis Colts suddenly lame.

These Texans are not afraid to run, harking back to the glorious trade plied by Earl Campbell. They have a new stable, led by offensive thoroughbreds Andre Johnson and Arian Foster, but also a worthy yearling  in Ben Tate, who last week ripped apart the hapless Colts for 116 yards and a touchdown in Week 1. Then there's Matt Schaub who throws the ball more than most, and for large chunks. All combined, the modern Houston attack is high octane.

But to succeed, the steel blue version of this city's football outfit will need to do more than churn up yards and post copious amounts of points. The Colts are Manning-less, so last week's scoring parade could dangerously inflate Houston's ego going forward. The highly touted Schaub is indeed prolific, but he's also lumbering and not always accurate. When facing opponents with dedicated pass rushers like the energetic Dolphins, menacing Raiders and furious Ravens, he'll need to release the ball faster and certainly with more precision for this team to overcome its averages.